Quick, Check Whether Any Dayton/El Paso Dead Are Jewish So We Can Pay The Killer

by Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority

Credit: Gobierno de Chile via Wikimedia Commons

Ramallah, August 5 – This office put out an official message of condolence to the people of the United States as soon as we heard of the mass shootings in Texas and Ohio over the weekend, but gentlemen, that does not absolve us of the responsibility to ascertain the religious or ethnic affiliation of the victims. Remember, if any of them happen to be Jewish we must give serious consideration to paying the perpetrator a lifetime stipend. Or his family, if he died in the attempt.

Get on this immediately, gentlemen. It will not do to have such an important issue suffer neglect. We cannot claim commitment to the Palestinian cause, to vow that not a penny of the payments to killers of Jews will be cut even in the face of economic pressure, not even when we must cut the salaries of our own employees or welfare payments to the most needy – we cannot claim such a commitment and then ignore when heroes of the same magnitude step forward beyond the official boundaries of the Occupation. That would constitute discrimination.

The father of our movement, Mufti Haj Amin al-Husseini, would suffer grave insult if we leave this avenue of investigation unexplored. He spent years of his life building alliances with Nazis and like-minded supremacists, working toward the day when he could implement the Final Solution to the Jewish Question here in Palestine. Now that white supremacists have boldly asserted themselves in a manner with which we can identify as Palestinians, we dare not withhold gestures of solidarity and support. By his afternoon I want at least a preliminary report on my desk with an examination of which, if any, of the dead from these shootings might be Jewish. We must not commit any errors of omission when it comes to rewarding those who share our goals. Our longstanding affinity and alliance with Nazis demands it.

Do not allow any Spanish- or Christian-sounding names to lull you into thinking the victims are not Jewish. Beyond the actual goal of eliminating the Hebraic devil, our Nazi allies taught us that the Jew infiltrates other cultures, pollutes, and corrupts them. Adopting non-Jewish-sounding names would be a no-brainer for those shrewd, demonic Jews. Due diligence, gentlemen, due diligence.

Not that I expect any Jewish victims; it is just as likely that this entire episode forms but one part of a Jewish-engineered false flag incident to distract the American public from efforts to take over the government and control the country. So let us also keep our ears open and our conspiracy theories flowing. You never know who might prove a valuable ally or dupe.

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