Suicide Bomber Attack At Mos Eisley Cantina

A Hamas poster named the bomber as Jarjar al-Binki, 25, of the Shati refugee camp in the Gaza Strip.

Mos Eisley, Tatooine, May 4 – A Palestinian suicide bomber detonated his explosive belt inside a landmark watering hole last night, killing seven patrons and wounding twelve others, including the establishment’s proprietor. The Hamas organization claimed responsibility for the attack.

According to local police and medical authorities, at about 9 pm yesterday, a man wearing robes to blend in with the populace entered Chalmun’s Cantina at the Mos Eisley spaceport and went to the middle of the bar, where he detonated his charge. The blast killed five people on the spot and seriously injured thirteen, two of whom died of their wounds before care could be given. Ten of the eleven injured victims are still hospitalized. The names of the victims have yet to be released, pending notification of their families.

“The investigation is still in its initial stages, but all signs point to a terrorist attack,” said police commissioner Kna’al Doolg. “Hamas has claimed responsibility via social media, lending weight to that line of investigation, but we are unable to say with complete certainty at this time.” He added that nothing had been ruled out, including the possible involvement of droids resentful at their perpetual exclusion from Chalmun’s.

In a recorded video released on a Facebook page linked to Hamas, the organization displayed a poster naming the bomber as Jarjar al-Binki, 25, of the Shati refugee camp in the Gaza Strip. The clip also featured al-Binki delivering a pre-martyrdom message to his family and still images of him posing with various weapons and wearing Hamas’s emblem and headband. His family was unavailable for comment.

“Mos Eisley embodies the worst of the enemy’s values,” said the narrator of the video. “Nowhere will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Our brave fighter infiltrated the enemy’s perimeter and conducted an intrepid commando operation in the heart of his logistical center. We will continue to target him until he abandons his abominable occupation of Palestine.”

Chalmun’s Cantina has seen violent incidents before, and one of the posted rules at the bar warns patrons to keep their weapons holstered. Wuher, the bartender, survived with only light wounds and did not require hospitalization. He was bending down below the heavy stone bar when al-Binki detonated the explosives, and suffered only minor cuts from broken glass. “I hope the authorities know what they’re doing,” he said. “I’m used to shootouts around here, but bombs are a different thing. We’d best be cautious.”

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