Full city-wide deployment is expected sometime before or during the next ice age.
Jerusalem, December 31 – The Kfir Corporation, operator of the tram system in Israel’s capital, announced today that it has launched the final phase of diagnostic runs before introducing tram cars that will take longer than any previous units have ever taken to get from point A to point B, assuming the tram does not get stuck along the way because of technical malfunctions or something blocking the tracks.
The announcement came as plans to open the newest line in the light rail system have proceeded according to a program that initially foresaw the launch of the first line in 2004, when in practice it began running in 2012, and so far represents the only such line in the city – though northern and southern extensions of that line began running earlier in 2025.
The new rolling stock, dubbed the “Heritage Series” by Kfir, is designed to honor the city’s long and complicated history of transportation delays. According to company engineers, the trams feature a revolutionary “contemplative speed profile” that allows passengers to fully absorb the historical weight of each passing street corner. Top speed has been capped at 8 km/h, roughly the pace of a brisk walk, though sources close to the project insist the actual average speed will be closer to that of a distracted tourist.
“This is not about efficiency,” said Kfir CEO Miriam Ben-Ari in a statement. “It’s about experience. We want riders to have time to contemplate the layers of history beneath their feet – and above the tracks. If the tram arrives at the next stop before you’ve finished your coffee, we’ve failed.”
The Heritage Series cars are also equipped with the latest in nostalgic technology: manual door handles that require two firm pulls, windows that actually open (weather permitting), and a speaker system that plays only pre-recorded announcements in Hebrew, Arabic, and English, each with a slight pause for dramatic effect. Passengers are encouraged to use the extended travel time to practice patience, a skill Jerusalemites have long mastered.
Critics have pointed out that the new trams will make the already slow existing line feel positively speedy by comparison. One commuter, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “I used to complain about waiting ten minutes for the tram. Now I’m looking forward to waiting ten minutes while the tram is already moving.”
Kfir insists the slow-speed initiative is part of a broader “sustainable mobility” strategy that prioritizes mindfulness over punctuality. The company has also announced plans to introduce “scenic layovers” at select stops, during which the tram will remain stationary for 5–10 minutes while passengers are invited to step out, admire the view, and re-board at their leisure.
If all goes according to schedule – a phrase that has never been used seriously in relation to Jerusalem’s light rail – the Heritage Series trams will begin limited service in late 2027, with full city-wide deployment expected sometime before the next ice age.
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