So Cute: You Think UNRWA Rice Bags Are For Rice And Not Weapons

by Philippe Lazzarini, Commissioner-General

Amman, February 17 – I cannot but chuckle at the latest outrage: just a couple of weeks ago, Israeli forces uncovered around 110 mortar shells, several rockets, and assorted munitions tucked neatly inside our humanitarian bags and blankets in southern Gaza. Shocking? Hardly. You assumed those sturdy polypropylene wonders were mainly for hauling rice, flour, lentils — basic sustenance for desperate families? How adorably clueless.

We engineered these bags with far more in mind than incidental grain storage. Heavy-duty, tear-resistant, weatherproof, holding 50 kilos without splitting — ideal for the real demands of Gaza’s underground reality. Hamas’s tunnel network requires reliable lining material; sandbags are so last century when you can repurpose our UN-branded sacks to shore up walls, camouflage shafts, or pack in supplies. The neutral logo? Perfect camouflage. Who questions a pile of “aid” sacks in a raid? You are SO naive.

And the storage potential itself is brilliant. Modular, stackable, discreet — our bags make excellent caches for ammunition, RPG components, explosives, and well, cash. We’ve seen it repeatedly: vests, grenades, mortars nestled among what looks like relief supplies. The February find is just the latest; similar hauls have popped up in clinics, compounds, even under university buildings. Incidental rice? Sure, some gets delivered. But the primary versatility shines in military repurposing. Bless your heart for thinking we make “humanitarian relief” our primary aim.

Critics cry “diversion” as if it’s accidental. With thousands of local staff — woven into Gaza’s social fabric, including Hamas ties — it’s not theft; it’s seamless integration. Trucks roll in loaded with multipurpose sacks; some might feed bellies, sure; but it’s about bolstering the resistance. We issue the ritual denials, launch vague probes, beg for funding. But deep down? We respect the ingenuity. Recycling humanitarian donations into operational assets is peak efficiency in a resource-starved environment. And you thought we’re here for the children. How precious.

So when footage shows our logo amid Hamas gear yet again, skip the gasps. Smile. Those bags are performing exactly as intended — rice storage being the charming side gig. After all, our organization’s raison d’être is the perpetuation of Palestinian misery as a weapon in the century-old war to deny Jews a state of their own in the ancestral Jewish homeland. We wouldn’t waste so much of our international funding revenue on mere rice or beans!

Your notion that we place food relief above armed resistance to Israel’s continued existence is just… so cute.

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