By Ahashverosh, Emperor of Perso-Media I’m an accomplished man. You don’t get to rule a vast empire – from India to Ethiopia, as they say, a hundred-twenty-seven provinces – without political and economic acumen. I’ve got that in spades. Naturally, ...
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Feed SubscriptionIf You Don’t Stop Bombing Aleppo, I’ll Threaten To Make Threats!
By John Kerry, US Secretary of State President Putin, the time has come for a fateful decision. Either you want to pursue a resolution of the Syrian conflict by diplomatic means, or you do not. But whichever choice you make, ...
Read More »I’m Pretty Sure My Vision Didn’t Involve Funeral Traffic Snarls
By Shimon Peres Oh look, I’m dead now. That’s a relief. Yes, it’s sad and disappointing, but the time comes for everyone, and I’ve had more time than most. Media attention has already turned to pretentious discussion of my legacy ...
Read More »Those Dying Syrians Are Making Us Look Like A Bunch Of Crybabies
By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian National Authority Under many circumstances I’d feel sorry for our Syrian brothers being subjected to barbaric cruelty at the hands of Assad’s air force and Russian warplanes, but these are not those circumstances. Not when their ...
Read More »Tsk, Tsk, That Assad, He- WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MORE BRANGELINA??
By Melody Connors, USA Today reader The news coming out of Syria is heartbreaking. All those suffering people, including children, denied basic necessities and care because of a bombing by Assad-backing-Russian jets. When is the world going to wake up ...
Read More »It’s Sexist To Expect Feminists To Stand Up For Women In Muslim Countries
By Carly Morrison, Feminist Activist
Read More »Don’t Want To Offend, So I’ll Use Dashes To Say “F___ing” Jews
By Ann Coulter It upsets me, to put it mildly, that every Republican candidate in this debate, without exception, felt it necessary to proclaim their commitment to Israel’s security, as if the issue carries such electoral importance in a country where ...
Read More »Wrong, Simba – You CAN Change The Past. We Palestinians Do It All The Time
By Saeb Erekat Silly lion. Of course you can change the past. We do it constantly. You think I stick with only one story about my origins? I have several. The documented evidence, of course, says the tribe that produced ...
Read More »Whew. We Almost Had Actual Elections There For A Moment
By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority It’s been more than ten years since the last time local elections were held in the Palestinian Authority, and we just got dangerously close to having them happen again. That won’t do. Nothing that ...
Read More »Israel Treats Us Horri- HEY! Stop Them! They’re Doing Good Things For Us!
By Mohammad Shtayyeh, Fatah official The sins of the Occupation continue to degrade us and make our lives miserable. The evil Zionist imperialists must be stopped, because their brutal policies do not allow us even to- hey, what’s going on? ...
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