By Rania Massoul, Palestinian mother of 6 Waleed, you know the rules: all chores and homework must be finished before you are allowed to play with your friends, no matter how far in advance you arranged this play date. You ...
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By Awad Shukri, stabber Being in Hell has its drawbacks, as you can well imagine. Beyond not getting seventy-two virgins, I experience the profound and abiding eternal torment of shame for my hideous choices in the material world. It’s no picnic. ...
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By Ashraf Hakimi, Students for Justice in Palestine I’ve had enough of pro-Israel propagandists harming the Palestinian Muslim cause by taking my exact words, in context, and making them public, which results in people considering me a bigot and supporter ...
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By George Soros Thus spake thy Lord and King George Soros: thou shalt construct for Me an Echo Chamber, of the finest pundits and plausible diversity. And the Chamber shall be 1600 cubits by 1600 cubits, that it may match ...
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By Basher Assad, President of Syria I’ve been doing this repression thing for years and years. At first it was the not-so-subtle intimidation backed by the precedent of ruthless retaliation, but that eventually gave way to open warfare against my ...
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By Saeb Erekat I have had quite enough of the Zionist trope that “Jews are from Judea; Arabs are from Arabia.” It’s nice and pat, and pretty straightforward, but it pointedly neglects the fact that my distant ancestors in Arabia ...
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By Rebecca, daughter of Bethuel It is an honor for you to have come all this way to betroth me as a wife for the son of your master, sir. I am prepared to make the journey, and to become ...
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By Cookie Monster People think just because me a monster, me not have sophisticated view of world. They also think because me focused on cookies, me not give due consideration to weighty issues. People make big mistake. Me have ideas ...
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By Nevuzaradan, Babylonian General Men, we’re on the brink of a breakthrough. One final push today and we can breach the fortifications of Jerusalem. These Jews have given Emperor Nebuchadnezzar more than a handful’s worth of trouble for years already, ...
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By Mustafa Rehzi, ISIS Recruiter Men, we have met the enemy and they are confused. Those Western infidel pigs cannot decide whether they are at war. That makes it easier for us to plan attacks, but it diminishes some of ...
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