“I just couldn’t stay in there,” said a blushing Zehava Gal-On of Meretz. Jerusalem, June 21 – None of Israel’s other 119 parliamentarians want to be the one to inform Knesset Speaker Yuli Edelstein that the zipper of his trousers ...
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Feed SubscriptionKnesset Intelligence Committee Ups Shoe-Theft Allocation
The theft involves athletic shoes, boots, dress shoes, slippers, sandals, clogs, and those creepy shoes with individual toes. Jerusalem, June 13 – Building on the success of recent operations against anti-Israel agitators, the Israeli legislature’s Intelligence Committee held an emergency ...
Read More »Herzog: Time To Set Aside Politics, Focus On Sowing Division
“I, for one, will be withholding my customary reflexive criticism of the prime minister until these crises have abated, and will instead work on openly fomenting dissent and mutiny.” Tel Aviv, June 6 – As Israel faces renewed missile attacks ...
Read More »Herzog: Bibi’s Response To Rockets Not Halfhearted Enough
“How can we retain the already-scarce goodwill of the international community if we go defending ourselves at every opportunity?” Tel Aviv, May 27 – Opposition leader Isaac Herzog laced into Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu late Tuesday, saying the premier’s muted ...
Read More »Sara Netanyahu Pledges Half Of Bottle Refunds To Help Poor MKs
Observers note that several MKs do seem to have a glaring need for help in certain areas. Jerusalem, May 20 – The wife of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu took steps to shore up her public image today, announcing that fifty ...
Read More »Shipboard Rats Hire Livni As Consultant
“Ms. Livni has proved a master at sensing disaster far in advance of our own capabilities, so naturally we invited her on board as a consultant.” Ashdod, May 12 – Seeking advice more expert than their own knowledge and experience, ...
Read More »Tibi Bill Would Require Every Natural Disaster To Include Israeli Deaths
The bill, cosponsored by Meretz MK Ilan Gilon, was sparked by initial reports of the deadly earthquake in Nepal in late April. Jerusalem, May 5 – The twentieth Knesset opened yesterday with a legislative proposal that, if passed, would mandate ...
Read More »Palestinians Puzzled Why Israeli Unity Gov’ts Not Violently Divided
Such discourse has sparked confusion among Palestinians, whose only experience of a unity government to date involves gunfire, bombs, arrests, and trumped-up charges. Ramallah, April 29 – Israeli politics continues to surprise Palestinian observers, researchers say, specifically the unfamiliar practice Israeli ...
Read More »MK Zoabi On Likud Payroll; Helps Solidify Jewish Support For Bibi
She has consistently expressed support for Palestinian ambitions to remove Jewish sovereignty from the land. Umm El Fahm, April 22 – Investigators are examining reports that MK Hanin Zoabi, a firebrand member of the United Arab List delegation, is actually ...
Read More »Gov’t To Ease Housing Crisis With Homes Of Leftists Who Vowed To Leave If Bibi Won
Everyone knows that Labor and Meretz voters have the most personal integrity, and when they said they’re going to leave if Bibi is reelected, that means they intend to follow through. Jerusalem, April 15 – Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s incoming ...
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