PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

"I'm not begging, I'm curating an experience,"

The current exercise calibrates the precise dosage of intermittent visibility required to sustain belief in eventual service without triggering mass demands for accountability.

"The pretzels were covered with sesame seeds instead of salt," shuddered one father. "Who even does that??"

"These two are ruining it for everyone."

Solitude is apparently not on the menu.

Full city-wide deployment is expected sometime before or during the next ice age.

The occurrence of the festival when nights are longest has invited unimaginative speakers to think themselves poetic by comparing the physical darkness with various negative forces.

Locals wouldn't mind so much if the karaoke performers could carry a tune.

Observers noted that the proprietor made the same claim about the credit card machine to four customers in a row. Jerusalem, December 2 – A local shopkeeper made an attractive proposal, eyewitnesses reported today, when you sought to buy a ...

Dusk falls over the storefront's flickering "CLOSING FOREVER" sign (now in its eighth year of forever).