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Palestinian Military Industries Upgrades Anti-Blame Dome

Angelic ArafatRamallah, November 17 – Palestinian engineers unveiled the latest version of a blame-deflecting defense system today, improving the existing model to include a far more powerful deflection system to repel even preliminary notions that Palestinians could be expected to behave morally.

The Con-Dome system sheaths Palestinian society and government from accusations of involvement in, or incitement to, violence against Israelis, and prevents the international media and foreign governments from developing infectious ideas about demanding actual concessions from any party but Israel. The previous model shielded Palestinians from criticism in isolation, ensuring that any blame directed their way was tempered by a parallel denunciation of Israeli defensive measures; the upgrade increases Con-Dome’s effectiveness by up to seventy percent in actually causing others to blame Israel for violence by Palestinians.

Initially slated to go into effect in time for this summer’s war in and around the Gaza Strip, Con-Dome was delayed by supply problems from going online until recent weeks, problems that, once it was activated, became Israel’s fault. Until then, the Palestinians had to settle for the media and governments of Western countries merely taking Hamas’s civilian casualty figures at face value.

The improved Con-Dome system exploits existing weaknesses in Western – and, to some extent, left-wing Israeli – bigotry, leveraging the low or nonexistent expectations of Palestinians to develop or maintain a peaceful, productive society. In the absence of such expectations, or with expectations at negligible levels of expectation, outside parties automatically demand that Israel be the first to make some sort of concession such as a cease-fire, a construction freeze, or grant some other freedom to Palestinians that will inevitably be used to harm Israelis.

Con-Dome has been in operation throughout the current crisis surrounding Jewish access to the Temple Mount, convincing otherwise reasonable people that the risk of Arabs rioting trumps the basic human rights of Jews to worship at their holiest site. It has been so effective, in fact, that few observers have realized that the so-called “status quo” of the site has only been in place for a few years, before which it was unremarkable for Jews to enter the compound and even pray.

Until now, such blame-deflection was performed manually by myriad Palestinian officials and spokespeople, a time-consuming process that claimed resources thus rendered unavailable for embezzlement, cronyism, and ego-driven infighting. European governments were more than happy to make up the difference, but Continental economic challenges have threatened the continued availability of such sponsorship. The new version of Con-Dome makes the blame-deflection mechanism operate at a fraction of the cost.

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