“The trappings and institutions of a normal Islamic community and society play a pivotal role in the gradual process of recovery and restabilization.” Dubai, April 26 – Efforts to restore the major northern Iraqi city of Mosul to its former ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMan Craps On Museum Floor; Staff, Patrons Think It Part Of Exhibit
“Redolent of the social criticism of Sartre.” Tel Aviv, April 25 – A pile of fresh human excrement in the corner of a gallery room displaying modern sculpture and paintings has sat untouched for six hours, witnesses report, as both ...
Read More »Study Links Erectile Dysfunction With Antisemitism
The mechanism by which the erectile dysfunction occurs remains unknown. Atlanta, April 25 – Scientists have discovered a causative connection between hatred for Jews and reduced blood flow to male reproductive organs, a medical journal is reporting. This week’s issue ...
Read More »Poll: Party With Sharansky, Batman, Gandhi, Steve Jobs Could Beat Netanyahu
Analysts and political hopefuls rushed to suggest how such a party might come into being. Tel Aviv, April 24 – Political commentators and operatives buzzed with excitement this week following the publication of a survey that found incumbent Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu ...
Read More »Terrorists Hoping To Elicit Threats From Lieberman As Sign They’re Safe
Lieberman pronounced in mid-April 2016 that were he minister of defense, the chief of Hamas in Gaza, Ismail Haniyeh, would be eliminated within forty-eight hours. Gaza City, April 23 – Leaders of the various militant factions opposed to Israel’s existence ...
Read More »Those Syrians Have Some Gall, Getting Gassed While We’re Trying To Attract Attention
By Yahya Sinwar The Great Return March, known by various similar names, has been going on for more than a week already, and the intense planning that went into it now appears to have gone to waste, all because those ...
Read More »High Court Issues Stay On Joshua’s Demolition Of Jericho Walls
“It’s the same problem all over again as with the spies – people in positions of influence who feel those positions threatened by impending or ongoing changes in society, and sabotage the eternal mission of Israel in the world just ...
Read More »Media Covering Decades Of Arab-Israeli Conflict Already Tired Of Iran Protests
“I can just feel the relevance and newness of yet another violent encounter between Arab rioters and Jews. No wonder they get all the attention.” Isfahan, April 19 – Several months into civil unrest in Iran, the protests and their ...
Read More »Local Man Doesn’t Need Haaretz To Help Him See Worst In Everything Israel Does
“Only losers, if you’ll pardon my frankness, who can’t think for themselves must depend on the likes of Rogel Alpher for regular doses of self-loathing, pessimist weltschmerz, and can’t generate it on their own.” Tel Aviv, April 19 – The ...
Read More »After Defense Against The Dark Arts, Dolores Umbridge Tapped For UK Labour ‘Antisemitism Czar’ Position
“Ms. Umbridge represents the perfect choice to lead this commission: loyal to her superior, condescending of victims, and willing to tolerate or engage in violence to whitewash her faction’s official view.” London, April 18 – Mounting public pressure on Opposition Leader ...
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