“It’s all part of a general cost-cutting trend in aviation that’s been going on for years already.” Tel Nof Air Base, November 29 – The most expensive and advanced fighter aircraft in the world is still unable to provide accommodation ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionNo Birthright Unless You Include Bread With My Order Of Lentils, Jacob
By Esau Look at me, Jacob. I’m famished. You’ve got a whole pot of lentil stew there that you don’t really need. I’ve got my pride, though, so I’m not going to accept unrequited kindness from you. That’s not how ...
Read More »ISIS Progressive Credentials In Doubt Amid Silence On Castro Death
Longtime alliances among governments promoting progressive values such as Iran, Libya, Venezuela, and Russia had led the progressive community to expect that at least some expression of solidarity might be forthcoming. Raqqa, November 28 – Liberal thinkers and politicians voiced ...
Read More »Meretz Demands Limits On Natural Disasters To Prevent Distraction From Corruption News
The law would require that any such calamity receive approval from an independent oversight committee before it be permitted to strike Israel. Jerusalem, November 28 – Lawmakers from the Meretz Party are preparing legislation to outlaw fires, earthquakes, and other ...
Read More »Prospect Of 3rd Temple Appearing Fully-Built On Temple Mount A Challenge For Mt. Of Olives Cable-Car Plan
The cable car as currently designed does not account for the disaster that could occur in such an event. Jerusalem, November 27 – Tourism and urban development officials clashed this week over a proposal to construct a cable car connecting ...
Read More »In 50 Years Of Oppression, Castro Somehow Failed To Create Ideal Society
Cubans now confront the prospect of constructing a heaven-on-earth without their formidable leader’s dedication to to systematic denial of basic human rights to an entire people. Havana, November 27 – Cuban revolutionary leader Fidel Castro died at age 90 on ...
Read More »Stupid ‘Muezzin Law’ Says Nothing About Your Goddamn Neighbor’s Alarm Clock
May-Aynei lays partial blame at the feet of the legislators themselves, who tend to live in more spacious accommodations and hear less of the goings-on in neighbors’ homes. Rosh HaAyin, November 23 – Examination of recent legislation to limit the ...
Read More »Couple Boinking Inside IDF Tank Say Serving Together In It Would Just Be Too Awkward
“If we end up spending hours, even days at a time in this thing? Goodbye romance, I can tell you that.” Latrun, November 23 – Two IDF soldiers getting busy inside a Mark-II Merkava Main Battle Tank told reporters today ...
Read More »Early Hanukkah Causes Confusion Among Assimilated Jews
“So do we put presents under the turkey, or what?” Newport News, Virginia (AP) – The relatively early occurrence of Hanukkah this year has sown perplexity among assimilated American Jews, who have become accustomed to combining or confusing the holiday’s ...
Read More »I Hope You All Ignore My Knee-Jerk Accusation Of Arson As I Ridicule Yours
By Zehava Gal-On, Chairwoman, Meretz One of the most irresponsible things to do in response to the wave of wildfires raging throughout the country right now is to reflexively point fingers and blame Arabs for starting the fires. I’m going ...
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