“It will be helpful to His Highness King Abbas to consult with hoi polloi and then do as he pleases to preserve his power.” Versailles, Palestinian Autonomous Territories, May 25 – Faced with an increasing gap between the economic fortunes ...
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An IDF-issue towel of the appropriate color will replace the requisite beret. Tel Aviv, May 25 – The IDF senior command and officials at the Ministry of Defense issued a reminder today that all personnel are to keep on their ...
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“Have we been consistently on message in that respect?” Burlington, May 24 – Senator Bernie Sanders told campaign staff last night that he still has concerns that he had not made his acceptance of Islamic terrorism sufficiently plain to the electorate, ...
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He hopes to be able to invoke it if the government’s policies and legislation in the coming months do not reflect his wishes. Jerusalem, May 23 – Prospective Minister of Defense Avigdor Liberman managed to surreptitiously insert a passage into ...
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By Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu The Labor Party, not to mention the Zionist Union faction and the Opposition in general, is in the throes of debate over whether Labor chief Buji Herzog should remain the leader of the Opposition – ...
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Bimot is currently laying the groundwork for a supposed performance in Israel by a nonexistent man named Elton John. Tel Aviv, May 22 – Israeli concert promoters sent former Pink Floyd front man and current promoter of an artistic boycott ...
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“It was an understandable mix-up,” said a spokesangel for the supernal realms. Lehi, Dan tribal territory, May 22 – A fearsome Israelite warrior facing a large number of Philistine fighters was unable to tell the difference between a donkey and ...
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Divergent treatment of terrorism targeting Europeans and terrorism targeting Israelis and Jews has strained the double standards inventory in Western Europe. Paris, May 18 – French Minister of Foreign Affairs Jean-Marc Ayrault announced today that his country would postpone the Middle ...
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“I have never seen Liberman in the same room as the infamously bloodthirsty Vlad Dracula.” Jerusalem, May 20 – Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu is expected to announce in the next day or two that he has appointed as Minister ...
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Refraining from hygiene, as it turns out, also contributes to a reduced likelihood of sex. Atlanta, May 19 – A new study by the Centers for Disease Control suggests that people only engage in sex and personal hygiene practices when ...
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