Kuntar would have brought a valuable perspective born of spending so many years behind bars in the company of people who generally have no real voice in Israel’s parliamentary politics. Tel Aviv, December 20 – Leaders of the Meretz Party ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionFrustrated By Israeli Restraint, Hamas To Provoke Russia Instead
Putin would cause much more destruction and death in Gaza than the Israeli military, if provoked properly. Gaza City, December 16 – Stymied in its efforts to undermine enemy legitimacy by engineering large numbers of civilian casualties, the militant group ...
Read More »Blaming Israel For Everything Has Really Helped My Marriage
By Ahmad Al-Hajj Nobody ever said marriage was easy. Even in a male-dominated, patriarchal society such as ours, there is no substitute for a romantic relationship with a woman who chooses to love you despite – or perhaps because of – ...
Read More »Sunni, Shia, Continue War Over Who Represents Religion Of Peace
Early, peaceful military conquest of a large expanse in a short time cemented Islam’s claim as the religion of peace. Sanaa, Yemen, December 17 – Opposing factions in a regional war continued to engage today in attempts to attain supremacy in ...
Read More »Hitler Miffed At Holocaust Deniers Denying Him His Glory
“If they like and admire me so much, as they claim, why do they do that?” Umpteenth Circle of Hell, December 17 – Former leader of Nazi Germany Adolph Hitler expressed disgust and exasperation at people who seek to deny ...
Read More »Sarlacc Discovered In Arabian Desert
An article in the journal Large Unusual Creatures in Asia-Southwest (LUCAS), due out next week, describes the process by which the researchers found and identified the Sarlacc. Jedda, December 16 – Zoologists have uncovered the first known specimen on Earth ...
Read More »Trump Postpones Israel Trip; Ynet Trolls Mourn Chance To See Their God
“Bibi’s no Trump, and the trolls know that.” Givatayim, Israel, December 16 – Subtlety-free, bigoted loudmouths who dominate the comments section on the Ynet news site voiced their disappointment this week at Donald Trump postponing his announced trip to Israel later ...
Read More »‘Breaking The Silence’ Rep Breaks Non-Pretend Silence By Farting
“There must have been something in the air,” recalled a waitress. Jerusalem, December 15 – An activist with an organization that claims to highlight instances of abuse by IDF soldiers that have been hushed up managed to disrupt a genuine ...
Read More »Palestinians Attain Strategic Objective Of Running Over Key Toddler
Infan Tissyde, an expert on asymmetrical warfare with Jane’s, said the Palestinians would likely try within a day or two to press the advantage the coup has created. Jerusalem, December 14 – Palestinian leaders voiced gratification Monday evening after a terrorist ...
Read More »Tolerance Is So Important To Us, We’ll Even Tolerate Intolerance*
*especially of Jews By Western Europe If there is one thing Europe has learned from its bloody history, it is the supreme value of tolerance. Centuries of near-constant warfare, fed by religion, ethnicity, politics, and competition finally grew so destructive ...
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