Israelis will continue to be subjected to fans pathetically referring to their favorite team as “we.” Tel Aviv, June 4 – Palestinian withdrawal last week of a FIFA resolution to expel Israel from membership in the international organization means Israelis will ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIS Vows To Follow Islamic Tradition Of Capturing, Neglecting Jerusalem
Jerusalem’s history bears evidence of this repeating pattern, from the initial Islamic conquest in the seventh century CE to the relatively short-lived Jordanian occupation of 1948-1967. Ar-Raqqah, Syria, June 3 – A spokesman for the Islamic State of Iraq and ...
Read More »Pallywood Executives Mull Reboot Of Blood Libel Franchise
A number of indie – short for indifada – studios specialize in adapting the blood libel cachet to current goings-on. Pallywood, June 2 – Studio executives in this field know an international sensation when they see one, often before most ...
Read More »Reward Offered For Nouns Palestinians Have Not Weaponized
“Most, if not all, of the non-weaponized nouns were no longer current by the ninenteenth century,” said researcher Aiosi Fifa. Tel Aviv, June 1 – Researchers at the Institute of Language are seeking the public’s help in finding concepts and ...
Read More »It’s Racist To Point Out Our Racism
By Saeb Erekat, Chief Palestinian Negotiator In 2015, one should not have to point out racist behavior that should have disappeared long ago. I should not need to call people’s attention to racism, since they should, by now, have grown sensitive ...
Read More »Herzog: Bibi’s Response To Rockets Not Halfhearted Enough
“How can we retain the already-scarce goodwill of the international community if we go defending ourselves at every opportunity?” Tel Aviv, May 27 – Opposition leader Isaac Herzog laced into Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu late Tuesday, saying the premier’s muted ...
Read More »Hamas Members Complain About Not Meeting OneRepublic
“One selfie with us wouldn’t hurt, would it?” Gaza City, May 29 – In the wake of a picture showing popular band OneRepublic visiting IDF soldiers manning an Iron Dome battery, Hamas militants have complained about being denied a visit by the ...
Read More »Rajoub Lobbies Ministry Of Magic To Expel Israel From Quidditch Games
Through connections with his friend Lucius Malfoy, Rajoub has the ear of several important Ministry of Magic figures. Ramallah, May 28 – Fresh from efforts to have FIFA members vote to exclude Israel from international football competition, Palestinian Minister of ...
Read More »Hamas Songwriter Scores Gig As Bar Mitzva DJ
“I might just bomb,” he said. “But that I’m used to.” Shuja’iyya, Gaza Strip, May 27 – Fredj Al-Julsun, 27, never knew just a year ago that his foray into composing propaganda songs for the Islamist group Hamas would lead ...
Read More »Attendees Sure Everyone Else Covering Synagogue Expenses
Many believe that the institution exists to serve their spiritual needs and sense of community, but that no reciprocal element of that relationship exists. Jerusalem, May 26 – To a man, each person present at Friday night services has convinced ...
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