PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Hatzor, Israel, February 17 – After several prominent Palestinians asserted that they were descended from the ancient Canaanites, leaders of the Canaanite city-states emphatically ruled out the notion that their descendants were modern-day Palestinians. Amirapu I of Ugarit and Yavin ...

Washington, DC, February 17 – Fresh from a trip to the Middle East and eager to showcase American decisiveness and will, US Secretary of State John Kerry told reporters today that the Obama administration is seriously considering leaning in the ...

Copenhagen, February 17 – As the Danish ban on Jewish ritual slaughter of animals went into effect, Denmark’s Ambassador to Israel dismissed the notion that such a law reflected any antisemitic sentiment, since the rescue of Denmark’s Jews from the ...

He claims the ticket should therefore be invalidated and any penalties and fines canceled. Cambridge, MA, February 16 – Gordon L. Meriwether, a professor of Semitic languages at Harvard Divinity School, is contesting the origin of a speeding ticket issued ...

By the Swedish Chef I em a strung sooppurter ooff a tvu-stete-a peece-a. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Joos, hefeeng sooffffered fur must ooff zeeur heestury es a meenurity, cunnut, es a mejureety noo in zeeur stete-a, keep zeeur buuts oon ...

Somewhere near Beach Lake, Pennsylvania, February 15 – Oscar Thorpe is a rare specimen indeed: a political activist who completely practices what he preaches. In his case, his adherence to the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions movement against Israel has led ...

Jerusalem, February 13 – Logistical moves in Israel’s military point to preparations for a “gay” assault on Iran, according to reports obtained by PreOccupied Territory. The preparations come amid heightened tension over Iran’s nuclear capabilities and intentions, as well as ...

Sochi, Russia, February 13 – Israelis face the crushing prospect today of confronting a world that denies them the respect and legitimacy that they could have had, if only a man and woman in designer leotards had performed better as ...

Stockholm, February 13 – Geneticists at the Royal Swedish Academy say they have isolated the segment of DNA that accounts for automatic blamelessness among Palestinians, the European Journal of Medicine reported today. European researchers say that the gene known as ...

Jerusalem, February 12 – The tension surrounding the Hadassah Hospital debt crisis increased today when the country largest labor union accused striking hospital personnel of picketing out of turn when it was supposed to be the union’s turn to disrupt ...