Traffic inside the D.C. Beltway was not disrupted. Washington, January 23 – Two years since the start of an uprising against Basher Al-Assad’s rule, millions of people did not gather in public places across the U.S. to demand that the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIt’s My Job To Make Sure The English On Your Sign Is Wrong
By Iver Mikhshol, Municipal Sign Approval Commission No storefront business is complete without an attractive sign out front. And no such business will open in this town unless it contains at least one glaring error in English. Guaranteed! Municipal law ...
Read More »Isaiah To Settle for Wolves Lying Down With Other Wolves
Jerusalem, January 20 – The eighth-century-BCE Israelite prophet Isaiah has revised his vision for the End of Days in keeping with societal trends and projected developments, downgrading his lofty expectations several notches. In his epic, poetic description of a time ...
Read More »Study: Not All Jew-Haters Want Jews Shot
Some want them gassed, burned, drowned, crushed, buried, dissolved, beheaded or impaled Phoenix, AZ (Reuters) – A Ku Klux Klan poll has found unexpectedly diverse attitudes among Jew-haters. Where researchers expected to encounter broad agreement with the sentiment that Jews ...
Read More »Hamas Entrance Exam
Bank Of Israel Website Launches New Usurer-Friendly Interface
Jerusalem, January 20 – In a nod to advancing technology and and a proliferation of private banking activity, the Bank of Israel will assist emerging lenders by providing a welcoming online environment on their website to any Israeli individual or ...
Read More »Despite 7-Hour Talk, Kerry Fails To Convince Netanyahu His Chin Is Real
Rome, Italy (AP) – US Secretary of State John Kerry spent most of yesterday afternoon and evening attempting to persuade Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu that the secretary’s chin was not fake, but reportedly did not succeed, sources present at ...
Read More »Those IDF Racists Won’t Even Rape Our Women
By Mahmoud Abbas, President of the Palestinian Authority The violations of dignity to which Israel subjects us Palestinians daily are hardly news. But perhaps pointing one one more humiliation will finally transform the world’s outrage into action: those Israeli soldiers ...
Read More »Netanyahu Hires Vizzini To Start US War With Iran
Jerusalem, January 16 – Information leaked from Israeli cabinet intelligence briefings suggests that Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu has engaged a Sicilian mercenary to foment a war between the United States and Iran. Long dismissive of American and other international efforts ...
Read More »Raid Of Kashrut Dept. Finds No Evidence Of Competence, Credibility
The Rabbinate’s system, says Ministry spokeswoman Amira L’akum, charged its supervisors with inspecting too many establishments, impairing their ability to adequately supervise any single one. Authorities conducted a raid this morning of the Israeli Rabbinate’s department for supervising and certifying ...
Read More »