By Audrey McAuliffe, High School Guidance Counselor Alex, I see you’ve filled out all of the proper forms for your college applications, and arranged for your SAT and SAT-II scores to be sent to the institutions of your choice. But ...
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Feed SubscriptionI Remember A Time When The UN Settlement Decision Wasn’t The Only News On The Radio
By Arye Golan, Israeli Journalist There was a time, apparently in the distant past, that not every issue discussed in the Israeli media revolved around the UN Security Council’s decision to declare Israeli activity beyond the Green Line illegal. While ...
Read More »I Hate Syrian And Iraqi Kids Even More Than I Hate Other Poor Kids
By Santa Claus ‘Tis the season! Now is when I do my final checks of those Naughty and Nice lists to make sure everything matches: which children of rich parents get fantastic, expensive gifts; which children of poor parents get ...
Read More »Joseph, You Know That One Of Those Eleven Stars Is Technically A Planet, Right?
By Judah Joe, the guys are not pleased with your delusions of grandeur, and I can’t say I disagree. Aside from the fact that it’s just dangerously destabilizing to go boasting about visions of your own superiority over us, it’s ...
Read More »OK, Whose Turn Is It To Distract The Masses With Some Outrageous Statement?
By Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu Thank you for attending this Coalition meeting on such short notice. I know many of you have important legislative and administrative business, and I do not take those commitments lightly. But we have yet ...
Read More »You Jews Need To Be Realistic And Stop Trying To Survive
By John Kerry Diplomacy, like politics, is the art of the possible. You have to be realistic about what you can achieve. You Jews have lost sight of that principle, and insist on persisting, even thriving, despite longstanding indications that ...
Read More »We’re Not ‘Post-Truth’ Because We Palestinians Never HAD Truth
By Saeb Erekat Much hay has been made lately of the phrase “post-truth,” to the point that Oxford Dictionaries named it the 2016 word of the year. As far as that goes, fine, but we Palestinians can’t really jump on ...
Read More »No Birthright Unless You Include Bread With My Order Of Lentils, Jacob
By Esau Look at me, Jacob. I’m famished. You’ve got a whole pot of lentil stew there that you don’t really need. I’ve got my pride, though, so I’m not going to accept unrequited kindness from you. That’s not how ...
Read More »I Hope You All Ignore My Knee-Jerk Accusation Of Arson As I Ridicule Yours
By Zehava Gal-On, Chairwoman, Meretz One of the most irresponsible things to do in response to the wave of wildfires raging throughout the country right now is to reflexively point fingers and blame Arabs for starting the fires. I’m going ...
Read More »I’ll Buy This Cave Fair And Square So No One Ever Fights Over It
By Abraham My beloved Sarah has passed on after a hundred -twenty-seven years, and now I turn to the task of acquiring a burial place for her – that is, for us. It is appropriate, then, to integrate the reunion ...
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