Hostage Deal Backers Team With Climate Alarmists: If You Oppose Our Desperate Solutions, You Don’t Care About The Issue

“Proponents of Affirmative Action were talking like this long, long before we picked up the practice.”

Jerusalem, May 5 – Two groups of activists who favor drastic, immediate action without much regard for the long-term or collateral effects of those actions joined forces today, to argue that anyone who fails to get behind the specific drastic actions in question automatically qualifies as a horrible, unethical person with no empathy.

A coalition of environmental groups and the Hostages and Missing Families Forum signed a memorandum of understanding this afternoon that promises shared use of the if-you-reject-our-rash-idea-to-fix-the-problem-you-obviously-don’t-care-about-the-problem rhetorical strategy that both sets of organizations have invoked repeatedly throughout their respective existence.

“It’s important that this tactic not get monopolized by only one set of activists,” explained Maya Opia, a volunteer with the HMMF. “We of course invoke that principle all the time. Anyone who opposes a hostage deal, no matter what the strategic or long-term cost of the deal, clearly doesn’t care about the hostages. You can only care about the hostages more than you care about future security implications. Otherwise you don’t care at all.”

“It’s similar with climate activism,” she continued. “The radical solutions to cut carbon emissions, shut down power plants, and just restructure the global economy – those might have massive, unforeseen impact on humanity and the planet, and might not even work, since it requires China and India to buy in, which they never will, but if you’re not in favor of those far-reaching measures, you’re a pollution-loving, climate-changing troglodyte. And the climate activists were wielding that rhetorical cudgel long before our forum came along, so we’re just happy they let us share it.”

A Greenpeace Israel representative gave a nod to previous holders of the technique. “It’s sweet of Maya to give us credit, but we didn’t create the approach,” acknowledged Brerah Kozevet. “It was in use long before the current iteration of the climate change issue came to the fore. Hey, remember in the nineteen-seventies, when scientists thought global cooling would happen, and we’d get a snowball Earth? No, of course you don’t nobody remembers that. Too inconvenient a reminder that scientists’ climate prediction models have always been garbage. ANYWAY, my point is, proponents of Affirmative Action were talking like this long, long before we picked up the practice: if you didn’t support racism against whites, you didn’t care about Blacks. No two ways about it.”

Once of the activist admonished a reporter to write only positive things about the agreement and the groups party to it, or it would be obvious the reporter hates puppies.

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