“This is genocide,” Amnesty International posted on social media.
Tehran, June 18 – The ongoing drone, missile, and bomb attacks on Iran’s capital, defense officials, infrastructure, and nuclear program facilities have put the Islamic Republic’s Supreme Leader in the uncomfortable and embarrassing situation of running out of disposable undergarments, because those attacks have disrupted deliveries of the absorbent products to his palace and bunker.
Intelligence sources in Israel, the US, and several Persian Gulf nations confirmed rumors circulating online that adult diaper deliveries to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei have all but ceased as the regimes logistical apparatus crumbles under Israeli air attack. The dwindling supply has already wrought havoc at the top of the regime, as those who meet with the Supreme Leader must pretend not to smell the constant, unmistakable bouquet of his anal leakage, and not to see what bodily wastes have soaked through his qabaa.
Israeli aircraft have struck targets of military, logistical, and government significance, hampering the delivery of Khamenei’s diapers. Rubble from destroyed buildings block the major arteries for those deliveries, and the trucks supplying the Ayatollah with his absorbent undergarments cannot make the journey because gasoline is in short supply following hits on storage depots, refineries, and other facilities. The IAF’s complete air superiority over the Iranian capital has made any regime effort to counter the offensives directly impossible. Instead, Iran has launched volleys of missiles and drones at Israeli cities, with deadly results, but paling in comparison to the drubbing that Iran’s regime continues to take.
Analysts cautioned against making sweeping judgments about the import of this development. “I’d keep away from locutions such as, ‘The Ayatollah is crapping his pants,’ to evoke the regime’s mood,” stated Pushk Bozorgsal of the University of Riyadh. “That’s factually true, but not necessarily related to the military or political situation.”
“I’d similarly advise against such phraseologies as ‘Failure to contain’ and ‘absorbing punishment,;” he continued. “The inherent ambiguity, given the fluid situatio- oh, crap, that just came ou- GODDAMMIT.”
Amnesty International and other human rights organizations condemned Israel for bringing about this state of affairs, likening to genocide the plight of an incontinent genocidal theocratic octogenarian with no access to adult diapers as he orders missiles fired at civilian targets.
“This is genocide,” they posted on social media. Followers acknowledged some confusion as to the specific accusation that led the organization to make such a statement, but agreed that whatever it was, since Israel did it, it must qualify as genocide.
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