Almost as funny as a terrorist suggesting he targets Jewish children on buses because he wants the best for them. Jerusalem, December 29 – A deeply unpopular yet somehow politically resilient Israeli premier continues to figure atop public opinion polls ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIsraeli COVID Behavior Somehow Not Militating Against Nanny State
“Essentially, people are morons.” Jerusalem, December 28 – Opponents of intrusive, controlling measures on public and some private behavior to prevent the spread of a deadly pathogen have faced an uphill battle in their campaign to convince government figures not ...
Read More »Isolated Iran Encourages April 1945 Hitler: ‘You Have Them Right Where You Want Them’
“Soon you will bring down the hammer that crushes the enemy and energizes the citizens and soldiers of the Reich to restore the glory it has too long been denied.” Tehran, December 24 – High-ranking officials of the Islamic Republic ...
Read More »We Palestinians Are The Original, Ancient Holders Of The COVID Vaccine, You Zionist Thieves
by Fawzi Barhoum, Hamas spokesman Gaza City, December 24 – Palestinians continue to suffer the world’s numbness to historic evil, and its frequent participation therein, most blatantly of late as international powers enable the Zionist oppression of this land’s indigenous ...
Read More »Omar OK With Aid To Israel If Husband’s Consulting Firm Gets Percentage
Provisions of the arrangement mandate that the monies cover only US-manufactured products and US-based services. Washington, December 23 – One of the small number of opponents to American funding of Israeli military procurement and development conceded today that her principled ...
Read More »Frummer-Than-Thou Man Ends Twelve-Day Hanukkah Observance
“Even going all the way to eleven has become cliché, thanks to pop culture. So I have to go beyond that.” Jerusalem, December 22 – A self-described “spiritual overachiever” in this city of almost 900,000 marked the final evening yesterday ...
Read More »NGOs Forced To Go With ‘Israel Won’t Supply Palestinians With COVID Vaccine’ Instead Of ‘Israel Encouraging Palestinians To Stick One Another With Needles’
“I think our donors will take it in stride.” Ramallah, December 21 – Activists seeking to frame every Middle East development as a function of Israeli perfidy and depravity have in recent days admitted feeling compelled to shift rhetorical stances ...
Read More »Audience Can’t Believe 2020 Writers Think They Find Another Last-Minute Israel Election Drama Believable
Not a single original idea since like 2012. Tel Aviv, December 17 – Observers expecting something original out of the ongoing Israeli political morass voiced their disapproval this week over yet another predictable twist in the narrative, noting that talk of ...
Read More »Activist Looks Forward To End Of Hanukkah When Assimilation Good Again
The Maccabees’ principal foe was not, as many assume, the Seleucid Empire, but the assimilated, Hellenized Jews of the era. Tel Aviv, December 17 – A staunchly secular resident of this prosperous city on the Mediterranean voiced her relief today that the eight-day Jewish ...
Read More »Palestinian Scholars: Fried Hanukkah Foods An Insult To Oil-Based Arab Economies
Zionist behavior must a priori be categorized as evil. Ramallah, December 16 – Anti-Israel propagandists hoping to attenuate the recent wave of normalization between Israel and various Muslim states in the region seized on a new idea this week to try ...
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