A campaign being run by a piece of actual, physiological crap is shaping up to be the cleanest Israel has ever seen. Jerusalem, October 4 – A cohesion of canine fecal matter sat so long on the pavement of Israel’s ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionNGOs Cite Sukkah Disassembly As Evidence Israel Has No Problem Demolishing Settlements
One observer remarked on the callous disposal of the palm leaves that served as roofing for some of the structures, indicating a lack of sentimental attachment to the homes. Tel Aviv, October 3 – Activists urging a complete Israeli withdrawal ...
Read More »UN Condemns Israel For High Priest Throwing Palestinian Goat Off Cliff On Yom Kippur
“Generations upon generations of Palestinian farmers have tilled the soil thus desecrated, and suffer the humiliation of occupation.” Geneva, September 1 – The United Nations Human Rights Council this afternoon issued the latest in a series of dozens of denunciations ...
Read More »Self-Hating Jew? No, I Only Hate Other Jews, Not Myself
I hate religious Jews, and I’m not one, so how could I be self-hating? North Tel Aviv, September 13 – You people need to stop the name-calling. When I oppose the sale of apartments in my neighborhood to Jews who ...
Read More »Rule Of Law Suddenly Unimportant At Khan Al-Amar
Of course no one would suggest political considerations really lie at the heart of the rule-of-law arguments. Jerusalem, September 12 – Legal scholars and political commentators have noticed in recent weeks that despite its supremacy in every other arena, the ...
Read More »Palestinians Adopt Israeli Plan To Make World Sick Of Palestinians
Materials distributed by the office of the president provided details of the dovetailing strategies. Ramallah, September 5 – Leaders of the Palestinian national movement gave formal approval today to a long-time Israeli strategy aimed at causing the international community to ...
Read More »Efforts To Organize “Pork-Eater Pride” Parade Fall Flat
“I fail to see why our insistence on enjoying this pleasure of the flesh should attract little to no media attention, and thus no public awareness or political support, while theirs is always front-page news.” Jerusalem, August 1 – Advocates ...
Read More »Party With Undemocratic Leadership Really Concerned Nation-State Law Harms Democracy
“We fear for Israeli democracy,” stated Lapid, who personally selected the eleven MKs now serving in the Knesset for Yesh Atid. Tel Aviv, August 1 – A kingmaking faction in the Knesset whose parliamentary representation gets selected by it’s chairman’s fiat warned ...
Read More »New Israel Fund Under Fire For Not Having Eritrean Asylum-Seeker As Director
NIF leaders have scrambled to perform damage control amid the spread of the allegations. Jerusalem, August 2 – A leading organization in far-left Israeli politics and social change found itself the target of criticism from former allies as word spread ...
Read More »Octopuses Depict Enemies As Antisemites
“We might be witness to an adaptive behavior developing in real time, and that’s always of interest.” Arabian Gulf, August 1 – Cephalopods aiming to strike a visceral chord among the public in fomenting animosity and suspicion against political or ...
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