“Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA.” New York, October 3 – Delegates to the world’s largest international organization working toward cooperation among states voiced ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMan Who Won’t Hire Visibly-Religious Jews Blames Them For Not Working
“Parasites,” Corell was heard to mutter after rereading a New York Times article on the alleged academic underperformance of certain Hasidic schools. New York, September 29 – A business owner with a bias against employing Haredim also accuses Haredim of ...
Read More »What Is Russian Word For Nakba?
by Vladimir Putin, President, Russian Federation Moscow, September 29 – Special Operation in Ukraine began February, but I will be first to admit it did not follow plan we had. Bombast and disinformatsiya had only part of desired effect, we failed ...
Read More »Polls Endorse Fraud As Only Way Out Of Electoral Stalemate
“The only hope anyone has to avoid another election beyond this one, if as expected it doesn’t produce an unequivocal outcome, is fraud. And the electorate is fine with that, broadly speaking.” Jerusalem, September 28 – An increasing number of ...
Read More »Iran Recalls Suicide Drones From Russia To Use On Own Citizens
The regime’s killing of a woman who refused to wear the face- and head-covering that Iran’s modesty laws mandate sparked the unrest. Tehran, September 25 – Officials in the Islamic Republic apologized today to Russian President Vladimir Putin, explaining that they must ...
Read More »Activist: Zionists Antisemitic Because Israel Didn’t Bomb Auschwitz
Anachronistic framing by anti-Zionists and other antisemites has a venerable history. New York, September 22 – The leader of a pro-Palestinian group at the City University of New York leveled a new charge at the people he accuses of oppressing ...
Read More »More-Honest Corbyn Declares Opposition To Bigotry ‘In Some Of Its Forms’
“Jeremy has always been wise and with good intentions. If this move does not result in a resurgence of Labour popularity, that will also be the Jews’ fault.” Islington North, September 21 – A former leader of the United Kingdom’s Labour ...
Read More »Angel Interrupts Binding Of Isaac To Ask Abraham About Donkey’s Extended Warranty
The “extended warranty” message constituted yet another element of everything set to be undermined if he followed through. Mt. Moriah, September 20 – The prophesied progenitor of many nations voiced some vexation today upon completing what many consider his final ...
Read More »Quick, Find A New Alarmist Buzzword To Call Israel – ‘Apartheid’ Isn’t Working
by Linda Sarsour New York, September 19 – I just returned from a solidarity visit to our Palestinian brethren under occupation, and I have both good news and bad news. The good news: our brothers and sisters facing the brutal colonialist ...
Read More »Only Possible Conclusion From Unpopularity Of Party’s Ideas: Voters Stupid
“Essentially, the people are wrong for thinking Palestinians trying to kill us means we shouldn’t give Palestinians greater capacity to kill us,” explained Chairwoman Zahava Gal-On. Tel Aviv, September 15 – A political faction struggling to approach, let alone restore, ...
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