"We will unleash untold wrath on a field of straw somewhere outside the town of Shlomi!"
Read More »Hezbollah Vows Ineffectual, Pathetic Retaliation ‘At A Time Of Our Choosing’
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Report: Gaza Not Starving, Just Won’t Eat Because Full Of BS
The largest fecal element involves the notion that Israel can or will be destroyed.
Read More »Red Cross: Demanding Access To Hostages Would Undermine Core Work Of Empowering Terrorists
"Those who have made the criticisms... have confused supporting functions with core functions."
Read More »Hezbollah Hails Glorious Drone Operation Against Israeli Apple Tree
"I hesitate to cite exact numbers, but how many more apple trees does the enemy possess?"
Read More »IDF Bulldozers Clearing Rafah Buffer Zone Find Your Phone Charger
The discovery complicates friends' expectations that you will buy a new one instead of using theirs.
Read More »Hamas Didn’t Realize Opening Gates Of Hell Was For Entry Only
"Not a metaphor, but also, yes, a metaphor," Beelzebub stated.
Read More »Foes Thought Mass Flight Of Israelis They Imagined Post-10/7 Would Dent Population By Now
"Our premises can't be wrong - those are axiomatic," he explained, detailing the difficulty.
Read More »Uncoordinated Assassination Squads Gave Arafat’s Polonium Poisoning AIDS
The man died from a boring old infection a few months later instead.
Read More »Monster Under Gaza Child’s Bed Cramped By Hamas Tunnel Shaft
"I can't do my job under these conditions."
Read More »Visitors At Hamas Booth At Columbia Job Fair Disappointed By Lack Of Sloganeering Positions
"I thought my experience holding a janitor hostage would be an asset."
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