Experts differ on when, if ever, the breach will gain the proprietors’ attention. Isfahan, Islamic Republic of Iran, June 7 – Online activists with skill in compromising the security of internet-connected remote computers celebrated a milestone today in the ongoing campaign ...
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Feed SubscriptionTantalus Glad At Least He Not Yair Lapid Chasing Premiership
“I think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” Tartarus, May 26 – A Greek demigod sentenced to have the objects of his fondest desires always eluding his grasp took solace today upon realizing that the fate of Israel’s current ...
Read More »Israel Moves From COVID Tests To IQ Tests At Entry; Weeds Out 99% Of Anti-Zionists
“Our own citizens we can’t do anything about; heck, that’s our voter base.” Ben-Gurion Airport, May 19 – The Ministry of Health eliminated the requirement this week for all incoming passengers to undergo swabbing for the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen, instead leaving ...
Read More »Appropriation? No, Jews Can Keep Gefilte Fish. We Slavs Are Good, Thanks.
by Stanislaw Kaczynski Warsaw, May 12 – Listen, I know some influential folks are up in arms about one group taking elements of another group’s cultural heritage and either commodifying them or integrating them into their own, and I get the ...
Read More »Boy Shocked To Learn He Becomes Bar Mitzva Even If Event Not On TikTok
“I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the idea that something happens if it hasn’t been recorded and uploaded to the cloud.” Jerusalem, May 5 – A local tweenager whose family and community will mark his transition into Jewish ...
Read More »Activist Documenting All Apartheid In Israel Exhausts Research In 12 Minutes, Seeks Suggestions For Stuff To Do Rest Of Month
“Is this one of those things where we change the long-established definition of a term so we can paint Israel as violating it, like we did with ‘seller-colonialism,’ ‘ethnic cleansing,’ and ‘genocide’?” Tel Aviv, April 28 – The holder of ...
Read More »Sorry, I’m Still Working On My Op-Ed Arguing Selling Chametz To Non-Jews Is Exploitative
By Peter Beinart To: Dean Baquet, Executive Editor, NY times I must offer my apologies, Dean. I know that a week or two ago we agreed that I would supply an opinion article for the Times exploring the myriad ways ...
Read More »Gantz, Meretz Suddenly Realize European Govt’s Don’t Get To Vote In Israel Elections
“I was under the impression that we career officers-cum-politicians naturally know better than hoi polloi, who probably don’t even know the difference between Mercedes and BMW.” Tel Aviv, April 14 – Leaders of the country’s most progressive parties came to ...
Read More »BDS Preparing To Continue Ignoring Russian Seizure Of Ukrainian Territory
Focusing on the singular goal of righting a supposed wrong that barely registers in the annals of human suffering. London, April 11 – Leaders of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement targeting Israel over what they consider the Jewish States’s occupation of Palestinian ...
Read More »Last Haredi Without Smartphone Actually Just Non-Haredi Living On Budget
The same family also owns no television, but not because of philosophical objection to mass media content. Jerusalem, April 6 – Israel’s market for the previous generation of cellular devices now mainly features clientele who for religious and community-standards reasons ...
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