“I’m curious, and eager to examine those passages in the original Aramaic,” admitted Dina de Garmi of the University of Bologna, Italy. New York, June 14 – Experts in the body of Jewish law and lore called the Talmud voiced ...
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Feed SubscriptionModerate Cannibals Feeling Pressure To Disavow Extremists
“In fact we deny that what those monsters are doing is cannibalism at all.” Beirut, June 7 – Community leaders among those who consume human flesh in a moderate fashion complain that they are being unfairly targeted by critics of ...
Read More »Joint List Rushes To Condemn Manchester Attack After Verifying Israelis Not Target
They would not, heaven forbid, thereby imply that it was a bad thing when Israelis are targeted for terrorism. Jerusalem, May 24 – The Joint List alliance of mostly-Arab parties in the Knesset issued its condemnation of Monday night’s bombing ...
Read More »Popular New ‘Barghouti Diet’ Ignores Calories Eaten In Secret
The eat-all-the-junk-food-you-want-as-long-as-you-think-nobody-is-looking diet is the latest thing. Savyon, May 17 – Trendy Israelis have begun to embrace a new regimen for controlling food intake, inspired by the discipline of a prominent Palestinian prisoner, that only reckons calories from food not ...
Read More »IDF Bulldozer Demolishes ‘Breaking The Silence’ Claims Of War Crimes
The use of a D-9 to demolish fabricated claims of Israeli misconduct against Palestinians is less frequent, as under most circumstances the willful distortions collapse under their own weight after a short period. Tel Aviv, May 10 – The Israeli ...
Read More »J-Street Staffer Unsure Whether To Wish Coworkers Happy Nakba Day
“Israel’s Independence Day must be a big deal for such a pro-Israel organization. People kept mentioning this Nakba thing in such solemn terms, I thought they were just still in the whole Memorial Day for fallen soldiers from the day ...
Read More »Syrian Missiles Accidentally Hit Military Target
“The army in no way intended to hit non-civilian targets; it is not our way.” Damascus, April 26 – Syrian military officials acknowledged today that a barrage of rockets fired at the rebel stronghold of Idlib yesterday may have missed ...
Read More »Maggid Of Mezeritch Reveals Gebrochts An April Fools Prank Gone Wild
The time has come to set the record straight, and that he never meant for people to take the concern seriously. Medzhybizh, Ukraine, April 19 – A chief disciple of the founder of the Hasidic movement revealed today that a ...
Read More »Archaeologists Find Remnants Of Obama Red Line On Syria Chemical Weapons
Compounding the difficulty is the Obama administration’s own subsequent attempts to conceal or otherwise reduce the identifiability of the red lines it had established. Damascus, April 5 – Scientists digging in the outskirts of the Syrian capital have discovered fragments ...
Read More »Waqf Guide Tries To Explain How Mooning Dome Of Rock Is Sign Of Reverence
“For Muslims the sanctity of this place is very important. We protect it all the time from desecration by, uh, Jewish settlers who storm it and want to bow directly toward the Dome of the Rock!” Jerusalem, March 28 – ...
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