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Study: You Should Put A Hat On That Child

Study: You Should Put A Hat On That Child

The study looked at the reactions of 30 women to the way you had chosen to attire your child for the 300-meter trip. Jerusalem, May 11 – A survey of fellow pedestrians and other individuals whom you passed with your baby ...

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Protest Dispersal Station Now Fully Armed, Operational

Protest Dispersal Station Now Fully Armed, Operational

 Not everyone is thrilled with the deployment of the new device, specifically because of its capacity to stifle democratic protests. Jerusalem, May the 4th – Amid a wave of protests against police brutality and discrimination against citizens of Ethiopian origin, ...

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Despite Low Education, Haredim Excelling At Multiplying

Despite Low Education, Haredim Excelling At Multiplying

The report also recommended further study of the news media, which, although largely composed of Liberal Arts majors, demonstrates an ability to divide that heretofore has been considered the exclusive province of mathematical experts. Bnei Brak, April 20 – Dismal ...

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Kim/Kanye Visit Makes Wall Actually Wail

Kim/Kanye Visit Makes Wall Actually Wail

The media hullabaloo surrounding the impending arrival at the Wailing Wall of the mega-star couple drove home to the sacred Temple remnant just how far humanity has sunk. Jerusalem, April 13 – One of the last remnants of King Herod’s ...

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Market Report: Chametz Futures Down

Market Report: Chametz Futures Down

Bread, pizza, and cookie futures began falling late last week, followed more modestly by cakes, pies, crackers and pretzels. Tel Aviv, April 2 – Commodities traders in Israel have noticed a recent decrease in the price of futures for potentially leavened ...

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Wet Winter Threatens J-Street’s Supply Of Straw Men

Wet Winter Threatens J-Street’s Supply Of Straw Men

Painting the Right as irredeemably extreme serves J-Street as a classic straw man argument, using large quantities of the agricultural by-product. Tel Aviv, March 25 – The relatively heavy precipitation of the last several months in Israel has severely reduced the ...

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Elders Of Zion Invite Wrong Zoabi To Meeting

Elders Of Zion Invite Wrong Zoabi To Meeting

The damage control turned out to be unnecessary, as the call was conducted using the Cellcom mobile network, and nothing was heard. Savyon, Israel, March 22 – The secret cabal behind all of the world’s major affairs scrambled to perform ...

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