Sochi, Russia, February 13 – Israelis face the crushing prospect today of confronting a world that denies them the respect and legitimacy that they could have had, if only a man and woman in designer leotards had performed better as ...
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Feed SubscriptionHistadrut To Striking Hadassah MDs: It Was OUR Turn To Go On Strike
Jerusalem, February 12 – The tension surrounding the Hadassah Hospital debt crisis increased today when the country largest labor union accused striking hospital personnel of picketing out of turn when it was supposed to be the union’s turn to disrupt ...
Read More »Man Hoping To Rid Palestine of Jews Calls Israel ‘Racist’
Munich, Germany, February 6 – The chief Palestinian negotiator in talks with Israel has asked the world to “punish” the Jewish state for its racism, as he pursues the formation of a state next door in which Jews will not ...
Read More »Israeli Theorists Posit Cheeses Other Than “Yellow,” “White”
Rechovot, Israel, February 3 – Scientists at the Weizmann Institute of Science have promulgated a theory that is sending ripples through the Israeli dairy industry: that it is possible to manufacture a spreadable cheese that is not “White Cheese,” and ...
Read More »Security Council Demands Israel Stop Being So Goddamn Moral
New York, February 2 – The United Nations Security Council endorsed a statement this morning calling on Israel to stop providing medical treatment to wounded Syrians, saying that the practice conflicts with the negative portrayal of Israel the body wishes ...
Read More »Jerusalem To Shoot Dog Owners Who Fail To Clean Up
Jerusalem, January 30 – Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat has announced that he is empowering municipal workers and concerned citizens to shoot the owners of dogs that leave excrement on the ground and neglect to clean it up within minutes. Barkat ...
Read More »It’s Not Palestine Unless It’s Judenrein
By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President Binyamin Netanyahu has once again raised a non-starter of an idea: let the Israeli settlers remain in their settlements after the land is transferred to the emerging state of Palestine. Of course we Palestinians ...
Read More »Agency Surprised By Backlash Against Ads Mocking Fat Kids
Tel Aviv (AP) – Publicity firm JCDecaux was taken aback by the completely unforeseen reaction to an advertising campaign that distorted the images of children to make them look excessively overweight. The company found itself unexpectedly on the defensive after ...
Read More »DMV Vows Reforms After Man Emerges In Only 12 Minutes
Visitors to the various bureau offices are expected to spend at least 45 minutes waiting before their number is called. Jerusalem, January 8 – A local man went to the licensing bureau office to obtain a necessary document this morning ...
Read More »Race To Politicize Pope’s Mideast Visit Begins
Jerusalem (AP) – Pope Francis announced yesterday that he would be visiting the Holy Land in May of this year, setting off a scramble among Israelis and Palestinians to score propaganda points in their ongoing conflict and to leverage the ...
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