PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

"This is basically Reform. I doubt it's even halakhically valid.”

Event slogan: Visibility ̶o̶r̶ then Bust.

"One woman even covered her ears in what I can only describe as ecstatic surrender."

The price for condoms saw a smaller but significant drop, as well.

One collector is already exploiting the development to solicit for pidyon sh'vuyim.

"I also have to accuse them of leaving the place a mess, even though no Israeli demographic owns that distinction more than any other, except maybe Arabs."

The concrete abomination has withstood every conceivable ordinance short of actual ordnance.

"Never once did it occur to me to check IDs, or foreskins, at the door. Am I supposed to be doing that?"

"Who needs a shadkhan when you've got mutual existential dread and a working generator?"

"We're not against innovation," one father said. "Israelis love tech."