“I also have to accuse them of leaving the place a mess, even though no Israeli demographic owns that distinction more than any other, except maybe Arabs.”
Park Canada, near Latrun, April 15 – Ongoing security restrictions amid the war with Iran and its proxies prompted Israeli authorities to encourage citizens to remain close to bomb shelters or reinforced rooms for Passover this year, a move that has left at least one frustrated secular resident without his annual opportunity to rail against the ultra-orthodox “invasion” of public parks other leisure locations.
Ronen Shoham, 47, a self-described “normal Israeli” from a central Tel Aviv suburb, expressed disappointment Tuesday that the holiday passed without the traditional mass exodus to green spaces such as this one between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, where he could observe — and loudly denounce — Haredi families “taking over” barbecue and picnic spots with their cooler bags, folding chairs, and intolerably large numbers of children.
“Every Passover it’s the same story,” Shoham fumed from his living room, where he spent the holiday indoors like most of the country. “I drive out to one of the nice parks, take a nice hike, set up my little picnic, but I can’t because the place is already crawling with black hats and sheitels. They’re everywhere — claiming the benches, the grass, the shade. They multiply faster than matzah crumbs, which of course reminds me I also have to accuse them of leaving the place a mess, even though no Israeli demographic owns that distinction more than any other, except maybe Arabs.”
This year, however, Home Front Command guidelines limited large gatherings and discouraged unnecessary travel, forcing families across Israel to celebrate Passover in smaller, shelter-accessible groups. Shoham said the restrictions robbed him not only of fresh air but of his sacred civic duty: posting indignant Facebook and X updates about “Haredim turning public spaces into their own private Gymboree zones.”
“I had my whole rant prepared,” he continued. “How they bring those giant containers of food for their large families. How they let the kids run wild while the parents just sit there or whatever, unlike every other group who let the kids run wild while the parents just sit there or whatever. Last year I got 87 likes on my status about it. This year? Zip. Writing my customary rant feels more rote than anything else. I find myself sitting at the keyboard, alternating between staring at my screen and staring at the rocket alert app.”
Security officials noted that while the war has disrupted many holiday traditions, the decision to keep people nearer to protected areas was necessary to minimize risk. Shoham dismissed such concerns as overblown. “Sure, there are sirens sometimes,” he conceded, “but have you seen how those Haredi families take over a meadow? One minute it’s empty, the next it’s a sea of shtreimels, strollers, and pacifiers. That’s the real existential threat.”
Friends of Shoham reported that he has already begun drafting next year’s complaint in advance. “At least I’ll be ready,” he said. “Some traditions you just can’t let die.”
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