Gaza Health Ministry Testing How Many Zeroes It Can Add To Death Tolls Before Media Skeptical

“In a month we could have the BBC, New York Times, and CNN citing a million dead as a credible statistic.”

Khan Younis, January 1 – Officials from the Islamist terrorist group that controls government institutions in this coastal territory have begun experimenting with how far they can inflate casualty numbers from the ongoing Israeli offensive there without international “human rights” groups, journalists, or other entities feeling compelled to treat those numbers with any sort of critical eye.

The Ministry of Health in the Gaza Strip – run and staffed by Hamas, which subordinates all organs of administration to the goal of visiting lethal violence upon the Jews of Israel and anyone else who happens to be around – launched a effort this week to test the boundaries, if any, of western progressive credulity by adding digits to the ministry’s daily updates of Gaza residents killed in Israeli air strikes and ground operations, which so far the western reporters and humanitarian organizations have shown no interest in verifying before publishing.

“We’re going to add an order of magnitude each week,” revealed Aliq Assiz, a deputy director in the Hospital Tunnel and Armaments Directorate of the ministry. “The jump from double digits to triple wasn’t dramatic enough to serve as a test case, obviously, and the transition from three to four figures barely made anyone bat an eye. It was when we crossed the ten thousand mark that we realized we could probably put random large numbers out there and those organizations and media would parrot them regardless.”

“So some of us decided to check just how far we could take it,” he continued. “It can’t look too blatant, so we’re not going to go from – what’s our latest made-up figure, like, forty thousand? – from forty thousand to a hundred-fifty thousand in the space of maybe a day. That might be excessive. But as long as the increase isn’t instantaneous, in the space of another month we could probably have the BBC, New York Times, and CNN citing a million dead Gazans as some credible statistic.”

Officials acknowledged that they could not have accomplished such a public relations coup on their own, or overnight. “The mutually-supporting efforts we enjoy with Doctors Without Borders, the International Committee for the Red Cross, the World Health Organization, various United Nations organs, and a raft of human-rights monitoring groups hold a large share of the credit for our ability to pull casualty figures out of our rear ends and never get challenged on them.”

He noted that any parallel claims by Israeli officials, or denials by Israel of statements made by Hamas-affiliated sources, do get the “Israel claims” disclaimer slapped onto them, and that the affiliation of every official entity in Gaza with Hamas escapes mention in the vast majority of news items about events in the Gaza Strip.

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