Israeli Physicists Turn Impotent Islamist Rage Into Power Source

“This energy source is effectively unlimited.”

Tel Aviv, April 27 – Scientists at Tel Aviv University have developed a renewable energy technology that has the potential to transform the tiny Jewish State into an electricity-generating juggernaut, the research team announced today, with a new process that transforms the resentment, tantrums, and indignant outrage of Muslim Brotherhood and other haters, into carbon-neutral energy. The scientists announced their discovery yesterday at a press conference at the university.

Professor Evra Vazaam lead a team of researchers in a four-year study that identified and replicated a process to turn the impotent fuming of Islamists into a harnessable energy source, he stated.

“I estimate we can begin generating power by this method within six months,” he predicted. “It can hook up to the existing electricity grid, and, at least for the foreseeable future, this energy source is effectively unlimited.”

The seething of Islamists and other Israel-haters finds outlets in a diverse array of media and forms, but according to the scientists, enough such bile on social media alone already far exceeds Israel’s electricity consumption.

“The cool thing about this is that the development of this technology has the effect of making it even more effective,” explained research team member Dr. Harona Po. “Every ounce of success that Israel enjoys makes the haters burn hotter with frustration, and now we can harness that to produce electricity. The honor-shame mentality that characterizes the Islamist mind will never permit reconsideration of violent, bombastic animosity for Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland, which all but guarantees a self-perpetuating cycle that will meet Israel’s electricity needs and more for decades. We can basically export all of our natural gas instead of only most of it.”

Discoveries of offshore natural gas deposits in the earth’s crust under Israel’s territorial waters have already steered the country toward energy independence, though Israel must still import all of its petroleum. Solar and wind power have produced limited success at best – but with the new power source available, Israel will be able to export significant surplus electricity to other countries in the region, such as Jordan, that have not achieved energy independence.

“The governments of the countries that are forced by circumstances to depend on Israel are, for the most part, pragmatic,” noted analyst Malakhi Mrai’m. “The problem lies with the subjects of those governments. Jordan and Egypt have formal peace treaties and critical economic arrangements with Israel, but the people of those countries, for the most part, absolutely despise Israel. The growing dependence on Israel for energy – especially with the crash in crude oil prices – basically cements this technology as self-perpetuating.”

Please support – our work through Patreon.
Buy In The Biblical Sense: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B92QYWSL