Man Denied Visa Thinks He’s So Important That Zionists Did It

“Ego does funny things to the brain.”

Canberra, March 14 – A pro-Palestinian activist whose application for a visa to enter Australia was denied believes for some reason that he is so prominent and dangerous that the sinister forces of the International Zionist Conspiracy™ saw to it that the application was rejected, as if they have nothing better to do.

Ali Abunimah, who runs the website Electronic Intifada, arranged a series of speaking arrangements in Australia and applied for the requisite travel documents, only to be informed this week that he would not be granted permission to enter the country. While the ostensible reason for the rejection was stated as a function of the bureaucracy surrounding possible payment earned for his activities while in Australia, Abunimah and his supporters just know that it was the dark machinations of the Zionist overlords who really run Australia, who determined he is so powerful and threatening to their hegemony that they could not countenance his addressing crowds of bigots of marginal political importance.

The activist, whose site and Twitter account traffic in anti-Israel propaganda, but who has struggled to attain genuine political impact beyond an echo chamber of like-minded agitators and terrorism apologists, evidently harbors the delusion that the all-powerful Zionists, who control vast global wealth and pull the strings behind most of the world’s governments, consider his operation anything more than an amusing sideshow, if they notice it at all, explains Zionist Conspiracy analyst Alex Jones.

“One of the features of a committed conspiracy theorist is the conviction that there is some super-powerful group with near-supernatural capabilities to control governments, economies, and mass media, but that somehow can’t stop a bunch of folks who have nothing but their paranoia, hate, and internet connection from bringing them down,” said Jones. “It’s laughable to you and me and anyone who knows that the Jews who run the world think Abunimah poses a credible threat to them, but then, ego does funny things to the brain.”

A spokeswoman for the International Zionist Conspiracy confirmed that the Australian visa processes are under the cabal’s total control, but professed no knowledge of Abunimah’s case. “I have no idea who or what you’re talking about,” said the woman, who gave her name only as Judith. “Is he some public official? A prominent businessman? Anyone of any consequence at all? No? Then I’m sorry, but why would we bother wasting our time with such a nobody when we have much more important matters on our hands? Have you any idea what kind of chaos is about to hit the global oil and currency markets?”

A follow-up e-mail from Judith clarified that while Abunimah was a nonentity to the Conspiracy, his organization was on a roster of about fourteen thousand others that believe they are working to combat Jewish or Zionist influence but are actually under Zionist control behind the scenes.