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Obama Glad He Shipped All His Classified Docs To Iran

Obama sent the first documents in 2015 with pallets of cash.

ObamaWashington, January 26 – A former president whose vice president, successor, and successor’s vice president had secret materials in their private possession after leaving the White House voiced his relief today that he escaped the same problematic scrutiny, having already removed such materials long ago for sending to the leaders of the Islamic Republic.

Barack Obama, who served two terms from 2009-2017, remarked to advisers that he appreciates now more than ever his decision before his presidency ended to ship sensitive documents to Iran least they end up causing him trouble as such documents now have for Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and Mike Pence.

“Dodged a bullet,” he stated with a grim face. “Could have been a lot worse.”

Obama sent the documents in several shipments; the first occurred in 2015 when he flew pallets of cash, amounting to billions of dollars, to Iran overnight to appease the mullahs and get them to agree to the JCPOA nuclear deal. Aides to the president included at least four boxes of classified documents in that shipment, plus what former adviser Ben Rhodes called “a very sweet handwritten note.” The other documents made their way to Tehran through subsequent trips of American envoys and other personnel to Vienna, where the talks were taking place, and later, via more clandestine means.

Brouhaha over classified materials in the residences of former White House occupants began when federal agents raided a Florida property of Donald Trump and removed various materials. Presidents have the power to declassify materials; it remains unclear whether Trump’s possession of the documents rises to a prosecutable level. More recently, President Biden’s personnel discovered classified documents in his garage from when he was vice president, and the Department of Justice has subsequently found and removed more such materials from his home. Former Vice President Mike Pence also announced this week he had discovered such documents in his home, and gave them to the authorities. Unconfirmed reports have similarly emerged in the meantime about other former presidents and vice presidents, going back as far as Jimmy Carter.

Obama declined to disclose the nature of the documents he sent to the Ayatollahs, fueling speculation among pundits. “Ooooh, I hope it was sensitive stuff about Israel,” offered Joe Scarborough of MSNBC. “That would be poetic.”

“Nah, probably something much more vanilla,” countered John Kerry. “The classified stuff I fly around with, for example, from when I was Secretary of State – it’s not that exciting. But it impresses the folks at the climate conferences, so it works for me.”

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