Report: Environmental Terrorism OK When Palestinians Do It

Palestinian arson produces potential ecological benefits, such as reduction of overpopulation, specifically of Jews.

Hermesh, August 10 – A consortium of ecological-activism organizations released a study this week containing what many scientists consider a surprising finding: that when Palestinian rioters loft incendiary balloons or kites from the Gaza Strip that land in Israel and ignite brush fires, or when Palestinians directly start brush or forest fires near Jewish communities and cities, that has no observable effect on carbon emissions, biodiversity, the water supply, climate change, or other important phenomena at the center of global ecology activism.

The journal Justice, Indigeneity, Health, And Diversity (JIHAD) ran an article in the August 6 issue highlighting the peculiarities of Palestinian use of arson to resist Zionism, in which the authors asserted several counterintuitive data points: that the use of such fire, which has destroyed hundreds of acres of brush and woodland in Israel, along with unknown quantities of fauna, represents an authentic indigenous technique to combat the invader, presumably in this case foxes, jackals, hyraxes, several species of fallow deer, and hoopoe birds; that atmospheric pollution only counts when produced by Western countries, a hypothesis raised by other scientists in the context of China, but whose mechanism remains poorly understood; and that Palestinian arson produces potential ecological benefits, such as reduction of overpopulation, specifically of Jews, a problem that has plagued Plagued Palestinians and their allies since the 1930’s.

“Our research found that Palestinian brush fires aimed at Israelis do not follow the typical ‘rules,’ if you will, of the wildfire phenomenon elsewhere,” the article stated. “Whereas almost anywhere else, we seek to identify the cause of, mitigate, and prevent fires through efforts to reduce the climate change and the anthropogenic factors that contribute to it, in the case of Palestine, the opposite approach is indicated.”

“Palestinians should be lighting more fires, burning more tires, sending more incendiary devices into Israeli kindergartens via kites and helium balloon,” the authors urged. “Those measures will not only reinforce the embattled, endangered indigenous ways of knowing and resisting, which we know are of utmost importance in maintaining human diversity, but will, in fact, reduce carbon emissions, lower sea levels, bring back extinct species, replenish atmospheric ozone, dissolve the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, eliminate oceanic microplastics, increase worldwide recycling, filter out dioxins from the air, clear up pollutants from ground water, and render human energy production fully renewable by 2040.”

“OK, maybe not all of those things, but they are more likely than a Palestinian state.”

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