Supreme Court Amused You Think It Matters Israel Founded As Jewish, Democratic

“I can’t believe in this day and age there’s someone so naïve as to really, sincerely presume ‘democracy’ is anything but what we, the elevated, unelected wise ones, declare it to be.”

Jerusalem, September 7 – Members of the Jewish State’s highest judicial body snickered and laughed out loud today upon discovering you believe the country’s explicit establishment in 1948 as a sovereign entity for a persecuted people, and with a democratic system accountable to the electorate – including Basic Laws undergirding State structure and the legitimacy of the Court itself – creates any binding requirement on the Court to rule according to anything but its own jurisprudential and political whims.

Supreme Court President Esther Hayut guffawed loudest Wednesday, according to Court records. “I can’t believe anyone still lives with that mistaken impression,” she managed to wheeze between fits of laughter. “After these decades since [former Court President Aharon] Barak lay the groundwork for the Court ruling the State essentially by fiat? What idiot hasn’t noticed reality? This is too good to be true. There’s no way. Is there a hidden camera here to record the prank?”

“This… this guy,” chuckled Judge Menahem Mazuz. “Get a load of this guy. He still thinks the Knesset, directly elected by the people, is the sovereign. He still thinks,” another pause for sniggering, “He… he still thinks ‘the people’ have the slightest clue what democracy is. Oh, it’s so precious. I can’t believe in this day and age there’s someone so naïve as to really, sincerely presume ‘democracy’ is anything but what we, the elevated, unelected wise ones, declare it to be.”

Mazuz pointed to the obvious indications from which any halfway-competent person could deduce that the Court cares little for the mandate assigned to it, preferring to overrule processes and laws arrived at through democratic means, and to do so with no consistent grounding in reason or law. “Only a complete moron could still think we give a damn, after allowing parties that explicitly deny Israel’s definition as Jewish and democratic – while an existing law bars such parties from running – to be reinstated after the Election Commission disqualified them. The only party ever successfully prevented from running was Meir Kahane’s back in the eighties. But we experts in democracy know better than any democratically-elected representatives what democracy is, and what laws should and should not bind the organs of state, based on our own supreme understanding and insight to which hoi polloi have no privilege.”

Judges in Israel achieve appointment to the bench through a committee that current judges and their longtime colleagues and cronies control, guaranteeing that the correct understanding of Israel as a Jewish and democratic country prevails.

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