PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

"If I ever want to dig here again, under Palestinian, uh, protection, I'm going to have to... interpret these findings in a way that supports, rather than undermines, the ancient Palestinian claim."

They've gotten so practiced that even Palestinian emergency medical personnel get misled.

Substantial risk of exposing the extramarital dalliances of at least six important church personnel. By Sewell Littell Caldwell, December 28 – Leaders of a Christian house of worship in this New Jersey township called on its attendees and dues-paying flock ...

Cherry Hill, New Jersey, November 3 – Nerds and bullies clashed today at a local school when geek extremists visited the third-most-important bully hangout site without permission. The clashes began when a Poindexter study group entered the school library with ...

Jerusalem, January 16 – Information leaked from Israeli cabinet intelligence briefings suggests that Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu has engaged a Sicilian mercenary to foment a war between the United States and Iran. Long dismissive of American and other international efforts ...

Kiryat Shmonah, Israel, December 29 (AP) – One of five rockets fired from Lebanon hit near this northern Israeli town today, and the IDF responded fiercely with dozens of artillery shells aimed at empty fields, rocky hillsides, and unpopulated cedar ...

London, July 9 – In a new twist on an age-old stereotype, a British Muslim author’s newest work charges that a relatively small number of Jews effectively controls the workings of Israel, a country that most people consider a democracy. ...

Jerusalem, Israel (AP) – After several fruitless weeks of back-and-forth negotiations over so-called Final Status issues over which Israelis and Palestinians differ, the delegates to the talks have decided to abandon  the effort and watch The Princess Bride repeatedly instead. The talks, ...

Washington, DC (AP) – President Obama has instructed the State Department to end its four-year-old attempt to convince Israelis to resolve the ongoing conflict with the Palestinians and other Arab nations by voluntarily drowning themselves in the Mediterranean Sea. The ...

Sheikh Jarrah Quarter, Jerusalem (AP) – Fuad Abu Hamed, 46, got through the biggest snowstorm in the Levant in a generation by huddling together with his family through power outages in the bitter cold by telling himself the Jewish authorities ...