Terrorist Rocket Shrapnel Rejected For Sculpture In Favor Of Much Rarer Substance Called ‘Clay’

Gambling that the novelty of using something unpredictable and different will overshadow any technical shortcomings.

Rosh Ha’Ayin, May 29 – A senior at a local high school has decided not to use the pedestrian, pervasive pieces of steel that fall from the sky each time Houthis, Hamas, Hezbollah, or Iran fires missiles at Israel, instead selecting the far scarcer, exotic material made of dirt and water, known in obscure, technical artistic terms as “clay,” the teenager disclosed today.

Eldad Messika, 17, told reporters today that he wants to stand out from the crowd of other sculptors in his senior class, and indeed in the entire country, and has therefore chosen to use clay for his final project instead of the far more common terrorist rocket shrapnel that peppers the ground.

“The committee, or teacher, or whoever grades it is going to be shocked at the originality of it,” he predicted. “It’s going to be a far cry from the trite, quotidian metal that everyone else will be welding, cutting, bending, and riveting into whatever shapes. No one has even heard of clay in like, decades, it feels like. I got this.”

Messika hopes his initiative and conceptual creativity can make up for what he fears he lacks in technical ability. “I’m not the most precise sculptor,” he admitted. “Also, my mastery of the materials and techniques doesn’t rank up up there with at least four people in my class alone. I’m gambling that the novelty of using something unpredictable and different, clay, will overshadow whatever other shortcomings my work might have.”

An approximation of his approach has occurred to several other Art majors across Israel’s high schools, as well. One enterprising senior in the southern city of Beer Sheva had a similar epiphany about a different material less common than missile fragments. “I think I’m going to choose something less pervasive, such as dirt,” stated Adi Agmon, at Ben-Gurion University High School.

In Hertzeliya and Nahariya, a junior and a senior at respective schools separately decided to depart from the humdrum rocket shrapnel in favor of rocks and dead leaves, each one explaining her choice in terms of taking the path less traveled.

“It takes a unique approach to stand out,” observed Shai Bardugo, 16, a junior. “Moving into less commonplace media than the default provides one way to do that.”

Senior Shakked Levy sounded a similar note. “You have to separate yourself from the pack. If that means making an unorthodox choice of material, moving away from what everyone else is using because it’s just everywhere, that helps show my unique voice.”

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