Arab Curricula Signal Détente By Downgrading Jews From ‘Prophet Killers’ To ‘Thieves’

“No society that accused Jews of dishonesty has ever progressed from there to any violence against Jews, or anything.”

Riyadh, May 6 – Warming relations between Israel and numerous formerly-hostile nations in the region continued today with an announcement by the Crown Prince of this kingdom that henceforth, the materials taught to children in his country will no longer characterize Jews as murderers of those who carry the word of God, but merely as usurpers of lands and property of others, a royal spokesman announced today.

Minister Hassan al-Thauthi, a representative of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, made the announcement at a press conference outside the royal palace, in the presence of American officials hoping to include Saudi Arabia in an expansion of the Abraham Accords of 2020 between Israel and several Persian Gulf emirates, heralding an new era of openness and tolerance where official enmity had remained the order of the day since 1948.

“This time of blossoming détente between former adversaries must continue,” intoned the minister. “The diplomatic dance of softening stances must begin – and we have taken the first step. No longer will the cursed Jews find themselves the object of accusations in our school textbooks that they systematically kill prophets of Allah. Those dark days are past. We have issued instructions to our publishers to limit the venom against Jews to charges of thievery, perfidy, and manipulation of the entire global economy, banking industry, entertainment, and Western nations.”

American officials praised the move. “This will help jump-start a new peace process,” stated a hopeful Steve Witkoff, President Donald Trump’s envoy to the Middle East. “The toned-down attitude heralds a bright future for the region, which we hope to help shepherd toward shared prosperity and stability. Stepping away from accusations of murder, and restricting the challenging rhetoric only to the realm of familiar stereotypes can only contribute in positive ways. No society that accused Jews of dishonesty has ever progressed from there to any violence against Jews, or anything.”

Sources within the State Department disclosed that they had urged the Saudis to go even further, and remove implications that Jews do not belong as sovereign people in the Middle East, but had met too much pushback. The compromise on removing the collective accusations of prophet-murder only occurred, the sources recalled, when Saudi negotiators were reminded that they hate Palestinians much more than they hate Jews. Jews, after all, never insisted that the entire Arab and Muslim world prioritize a pointless, four-generation war in a backwater province of the old Ottoman Empire over the Arab world’s own formidable domestic challenges.

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