“The Zionists are now even closer to permanent defeat, and we will liberate Canaan.”
Nineveh, July 1 – Following the sudden overnight death of nearly the entire Assyrian army, the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Assyria declared a triumph over the Jewish State and its leader Hezekiah, and that they had bloodied the nose of the imperialists.
Ayatollah Sennacherib emerged from his underground quarters to deliver a victory speech in the aftermath of a Judean operation that destroyed Assyrian air defenses, decapitated its military leadership, damaged critical national infrastructure, impaired domestic repression capacities, and, with the help of larger imperial allies, eliminated the one strategic program that could have guaranteed Assyrian regional hegemony for the foreseeable future.
“Hail our mighty forces,” he declared, though it remained unclear to what forces the Supreme Leader referred, given the destruction of those forces at Jerusalem. “The Zionists are now even closer to permanent defeat, and we will liberate Canaan, Inshallah.”
These developments followed almost two years of systematic Judean dismantling of the various proxy armies Assyria had cultivated to surround the Jews in Gaza, Lebanon, Assyria, Babylon, and farther afield. The current war began when Philistine allies of the Assyrians invaded southern Judea and massacred thousands of inhabitants during a Jewish harvest festival. Retaliation swiftly followed, with the Philistine proxies of Assyria in and around Gaza rendered a shadow of their previous selves and barely clinging to power.
Meanwhile, Phoenician proxies of Nineveh attempted as well to subdue the Judeans, only to find that their communication systems had been sabotaged by Judean agents, and Phoenician forces found themselves, in short order, humiliated and forced to withdraw far to the north of their original positions.
The collapse of the Phoenician proxies triggered the fall of Assyrian vassals bordering Judean territories. In a desperate attempt to shore up his hegemonic ambitions, Ayatollah Sennacherib mobilized his men for an assault on the Judean capital of Jerusalem, where King Hezekiah held out. Then, in a single night, the vast majority of the Ayatollah’s men simply died, and the attempt to conquer the Jews came to an ignominious end. This prompted Sennacherib to proclaim a glorious victory and vowed to continue resisting Zionist conquest, with a promise that the Jewish State would cease to exist with just a few years.
Analysts believe domestic unrest would have claimed Sennacherib’s attention regardless of the Judean operation, but deep-penetration raids by Judean commandos, disaffection among his own population, and catastrophic attacks by a newer, larger empire appear to have accelerated the process and deprived the Assyrian regime of every weapon but rhetoric.
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