“Oops,” he muttered. “Awkward.” Boston, December 10 – A Massachusetts silversmith admitted chagrin today following an incident last night in which he misinterpreted a Jewish festival ritual as a signal that he must warn fellow patriots of the route, destination, ...
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Feed SubscriptionCOVID Lockdowns An Israeli Plot To Prevent Activists From Serving As Human Shields For Violent Palestinians
“Qui bono?” Hebron, December 10 – Representatives of international human rights NGOs and of local Palestinian groups observed this week the suspicious convenience of the worldwide pandemic that has hampered international travel and the movement of people and the propaganda benefit that ...
Read More »Hanukkah: Bibi Stretches 1 Term’s Worth Of Underachievement Into 8
Despite initial assessments that his political cowardice would only suffice for a single truncated term. Jerusalem, December 9 – In what observers are hailing as a modern-day Festival of Lights miracle, Prime Minister Binyamin Netnanyahu has succeeded in taking the ...
Read More »Chef Filling Sufganiyot With Mercury Suspects Exotic Bakery Competitiveness Going Too Far
“What’s next, lava? Little pockets of sulfuric acid?” Jerusalem, December 8 – A worker at one of Israel’s prominent bakery and confection chains voiced concern today, as he injected a doughnut with an expensive, dangerous substance, that perhaps there exists ...
Read More »Palestinians Insist Original Mysterious Monolith Theirs But Jews Stole It
“Yet another instance of Zionists usurping our national heritage.” Ramallah, December 7 – The bizarre story of a series of metallic standing stones that appear and then disappear in various places around the world – first in Utah, then California, ...
Read More »Stop Misinterpreting The ‘From The River To The Sea’ Call For Genocide As A Call For Genocide
by Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) Washington, December 3 – A few days ago I felt compelled to remove a message I reposted from elsewhere on Twitter, a message that contained the oft-repeated slogan of Palestinian national liberation, “From the River ...
Read More »Veil Maker: Antisemites Trying To Mask Hate The Only Reason Business Afloat
“They appear to believe that the veil prevents all and sundry from perceiving them as the antisemites they are.” London, December 3 – One of the few remaining manufacturers of formal garments to cover part of the wearer’s head, out of modesty, privacy, or ...
Read More »Iran Printers See Dwindling Demand For ‘Nuclear Scientist’ Business Cards
Previous customers remain unavailable for inquiries into the phenomenon. Tehran, December 2 – Entrepreneurs in this city’s document production and processing industry have noticed a sharp dropoff in the number of customers who seek to advertise expertise in the field ...
Read More »Clorox, Olin Vie For Priestly Vestment Laundry Contract
A separate tender features numerous garment and fashion industry entities vying to provide the garments themselves. Oakland, December 1 – Some of the world’s largest bleach and garment-cleanser detergent manufacturers submitted proposals this week to the Temple Institute, a small, Jerusalem-based ...
Read More »Man Insists 1,223,427th Attempt To Mix Religion, Politics Won’t Be Total Debacle
1,223,427 “learning experiences.” Jerusalem, November 30 – A lawmaker for one of Israel’s many parliamentary factions insisted today that following anticipated elections next year, his party will embark on yet another effort to bend the country’s institutions to better suit ...
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