By Tina Swann, Zoning Board member Mahwah, February 7 – If there’s one thing I’ve learned from studying international news, it’s the importance of the so-called Status Quo when it come to Jews and what governs their relations with non-Jews. Anything ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionPalestinians Now Just Sticking ‘Talmudic’ At Random Into Propaganda
Speechwriters for prominent Palestinian officials have been instructed to append the menacing word “Talmudic” to various nouns associated with Israel. Jerusalem, February 7 – Diminishing returns on terminology on which Palestinian activists once relied to provoke outrage in the Muslim ...
Read More »Women Manufactured with Planned Obsolescence, Says Trade Group
It continued with a litany of other grievances, notable among them the apparent deafness of GOD to centuries of complaints. Holon, February 6 – A trade group representing buyers of female reproductive partners has accused the manufacturer of designing the ...
Read More »Seeing Movement Backfire, Israel Prosper, Other Countries Demand BDS Target Them Too
If one were to construct an investment portfolio only of firms BDS dislikes, such a portfolio would outperform index funds by a significant margin. London, February 5 – Economists and financial experts are advising governments to be targeted by the ...
Read More »Female MKs Challenge Oren Hazan To Penis-Measuring Contest
“He better not blow this.” Jerusalem, January 30 – Women legislators from across the political spectrum voiced their frustration today with a colleague whose antics they contend shames the parliament, and dared him to measure his dong against theirs, with ...
Read More »UN Agency To Keep Migrants Deported From Israel Stateless Till They Can Return
“I am confident we can count on Jordan, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, and other Arab states to provide hospitality for untold generations of this new population of refugees.” Geneva, January 31 – Officials at the United Nations Relief and Works Agency ...
Read More »Palestinians Declare Day Of Rage, But Date Already Taken By Previous Day Of Rage
“There’s a quota,” noted Nabil Shaath. “We’re supposed to have a certain minimum number of Days of Rage in every reporting period.” Ramallah, February 1 – Officials in the Palestinian Authority confessed embarrassment today upon realizing that after they had ...
Read More »I Don’t Care How Many Lebanese Die ‘For Palestine’
By Hassan Nasrallah, Secretary-General, Hezbollah Liberation of the Islamic land of Palestine from the infidel Zionists remains the sacred duty of all Muslims, regardless of local nationality. That is why it ultimately does not matter how many Lebanese must die ...
Read More »Anti-Religion Activist Finds Way To Paint Tu Bishvat Nature-Celebration As Anti-Nature
He has for years sought to develop a thesis that would allow him to dismiss or taint the source so as not to be forced to acknowledge a positive role for something with a religious pedigree. Tel Aviv, January 31 ...
Read More »Jonah Forced To Buy Whole Damn Boat Because Jaffa Port Workers On Strike Again
“If you ask me, there’s something fishy going on there.” Jaffa, January 31 – A prophet trying to escape his mission had no choice but to purchase an entire vessel when a labor stoppage by union workers delayed the departure ...
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