Despite seeking photos or videos that would showcase the alleged brutality and wanton violence of the Israeli military, he could find precious few bona fide images of the carnage. Gaza City, August 5 – Ahmed Sinni, a Hamas and Islamic Jihad ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionArea Dad Refers To Grain-Free Passover Products As ‘De-Floured’
“What?” he protested. “Admit it, you know it’s funny.” Jerusalem, August 4 – A local father found the opportunity to make a suggestive pun too enticing to wait until it became relevant to the season, choosing instead Thursday morning to ...
Read More »Normal Political Activity Sinister When Jews Do It
Activity congruent with Israeli interests earns portrayal not as standard political behavior but as dangerous, seditious manipulation of the US government. Washington, August 3 – Lobbying, fundraising, campaigning, letter-writing, advertising, and diplomatic protocol, and related behaviors constitute healthy, proper courses of action if ...
Read More »My Hobby Is Characterizing Israeli Defensive Weapons, Actions As Aggression
by Yousef Munayyer, US Campaign for Palestinian Rights Washington, August 2 – We’ve all heard the claims: Israel’s Iron Dome missile system poses a dire threat to Palestinian safety. A minority of people hear the statement and find it absurd, ...
Read More »Month-Old Leftovers Of Doubtful Edibility Placed Back In Fridge
He will, in fact, not eat the pasty, and it will eventually grow mold, giving him no choice but to bin it. Majdal Shams, August 1 – A foil-wrapped piece of meat-filled flake-dough returned Monday to the place it has ...
Read More »Candidates Struggling To Articulate Vision for Israel Other Than ‘Not Bibi’
“In a word, inertia.” Jerusalem, July 28 – Party leaders, campaign consultants, and aspiring legislators continued this week to prepare for parliamentary elections later this year, with some of the largest parties settling on the one message they must convey to ...
Read More »Palestinian Bigwig Loses Embezzled UNRWA Funds To Indian Scammer
The process ended up costing him over eighty thousand dollars of other people’s money. Ramallah, July 28 – A senior official in President Mahmoud Abbas’s government fell prey to a common internet ruse to bilk unsuspecting users of their money ...
Read More »Hezbollah Plans To Help Cash-Strapped Lebanon By Blowing Up Gas Platforms
“These are rightfully Lebanese platforms, and as such, we are relieving Lebanon of the headaches associated with them.” Beirut, July 27 – The Shiite militia that effectively controls Lebanon on behalf of its Iranian masters unveiled an ambitious program today ...
Read More »Alien Archaeologists Posit Ritual Significance To Badly-Proportioned Figurines With Tiny Waists, Long Hair, Large Breasts
The layers of colorful fabric in which the figures are often adorned demonstrates they were objects of devotion. Northeast coast of Land Mass B, July 26 – Explorers unearthed another sample of a distorted humanoid replica last month, identical to ...
Read More »Man Struggles To Explain Science Behind Prioritizing Palestinian Issue In Climate Change Policy
“Most progressives kind of take for granted that the Palestinian cause sits at the nexus of all the world’s important challenges. It’s hard to articulate why that is, to the uninitiated.” New York, July 25 – A demonstrator outside the ...
Read More »