Malley and his team had assumed a pinky-swear from Iran’s negotiators signified a reliable commitment to change direction. Washington, December 30 – Senior American diplomatic officials voiced their dismay today upon discovering that despite extraction by those officials of a ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionPolling Reveals Israelis Sick Of Polls
The current figures mark a gradual shift that began with the formation of the current government. Jerusalem, December 29 – A survey of potential voters by one of the country’s leading electoral analysis firms has revealed that potential voters have ...
Read More »Church Urges Members To Dial Back Jew-Hate, Fearing Attention Will Uncover Sex Abuse
Substantial risk of exposing the extramarital dalliances of at least six important church personnel. By Sewell Littell Caldwell, December 28 – Leaders of a Christian house of worship in this New Jersey township called on its attendees and dues-paying flock ...
Read More »Iran Also Declares Attack On Them = Attack On Science
“We mainstream media people ate it up, because of course we love science, especially the part where it gets used to confirm our biases.” Tehran, December 27 – Leaders of the Islamic Republic took a page from the Dr. Anthony ...
Read More »Focus On Family, Community Rather Than Palestine Makes Man Obvious Racist
“It’s internalized white supremacy,” agreed Palestine Solidarity Campaign volunteer Holden Lamaar. Hempstead, December 26 – A local small-business proprietor who devotes his time and resources to nurturing his children, enriching his marriage, caring for his aging parents, volunteering at a ...
Read More »The True Meaning Of Christmas Is To Make It About Palestinians
The true meaning of Christmas is not to look too carefully at the facile analogies of Palestine activists. Bethlehem, December 23 – Most of the Christian world heads into the Festival of the Nativity this weekend. We residents of the ...
Read More »Tragedy Strikes As 14-Year-Old Forced To Take Out Trash Twice In 1 Week
“Please respect our daughter’s privacy at this difficult time.” Jerusalem, December 22 – Relatives and friends gathered today to console a local ninth-grader who underwent the catastrophic experience today of having to transfer accumulated kitchen garbage from its receptacle in ...
Read More »Fire Guts Hezbollah Warehouse Of Dolls For Use In Photos Of Bombed-Out Ruins
Hezbollah has staff dedicated to setting up and creating such photographs, then getting internationally trusted news outlets to carry them. Beirut, December 21 – A suspicious blaze struck a facility in the Lebanese capital yesterday where the Iran-backed Shiite militia ...
Read More »Gov’t Just Going To Assume At This Point Any Praise For It Ironic
“Probability alone militates against interpreting such praise as anything but biting commentary.” Jerusalem, December 20 – So unpopular has Prime Minister Naftali Bennett’s administration grown that its public relations personnel on both party and Coalition levels no longer seek to ...
Read More »Family Makes Aliyah Just To Escape All-Pervasive Christmas Music
While acknowledging Zionism in their upbringings, they talked mainly of getting the hell out of the dystopia. West Hempstead, December 19 – Saturation of the environment with “seasonal” songs has driven one homeowner in this Long Island hamlet, along with ...
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