“It just never occurred to any of us to take the term at anything but face value,” said Academy spokeswoman Yirga Muhu. Jerusalem, May 9 – Linguistic researchers at the Academy of the Hebrew Language were stunned this week to discover that ...
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Feed SubscriptionSuicide Bomber Attack At Mos Eisley Cantina
A Hamas poster named the bomber as Jarjar al-Binki, 25, of the Shati refugee camp in the Gaza Strip. Mos Eisley, Tatooine, May 4 – A Palestinian suicide bomber detonated his explosive belt inside a landmark watering hole last night, ...
Read More »Shock As Soldiers Not Arrested For Shooting Attackers
Yaalon said the IDF cannot sink to the level of its enemies by actually killing people. Kalandia Checkpoint, April 27 – Hours after a pair of Palestinian siblings attacked soldiers here with knives and were shot in the attempt, the ...
Read More »Iron Dome To Ignore Rockets Headed For Haaretz Building
The move will help the unit operating the Iron Dome to conserve energy and resources that would be put to better use defending parts of Tel Aviv that actually matter. Tel Aviv, April 20 – Israel Defense Force technicians have ...
Read More »Sporadic Stabbings Mysteriously Fail To Cause Millions of Israelis To Flee
Despite decades of Arab terrorism, protests, and international opprobrium, Israel has only grown in population, economic strength, and military power. Ramallah, April 13 – Palestinian strategists are scratching heir heads at the latest statistics showing that despite six months of ...
Read More »Gaza Residents Vaguely Recall Non-Tunnel Use For Cement
“What, you mean like above ground?” wondered a puzzled shopkeeper, when asked whether the cement might be used for rebuilding houses. “People do that?” Gaza City, April 6 – Inhabitants of the coastal strip of territory governed by the Islamist ...
Read More »IDF Archivist Can’t Find Procedures For Summary Execution Of Palestinians
“It’s nothing less than scandalous that this far into the seven-decade-old ethnic cleansing, no specific manual exists on how soldiers are to execute one of the basic techniques of that project.” Tel Aviv, April 2 – The army clerk in ...
Read More »New IDF Rules Call For 8 Weeks’ Counseling Before Opening Fire
Four of the counselors are in Bnei Brak. Tel Aviv, March 28 – In the wake of an incident in which an IDF soldier allegedly shot and killed a Palestinian attacker who had already been incapacitated, the Israeli military has ...
Read More »Human Rights Watch: Allowing Jews To Defend Selves Would Violate Haman’s Rights
“The kingdom has a lot riding on the original Kill the Jews and Take Everything They Have decree.” Susa, Persian Empire, March 22 – The director of a prominent rights organization cautioned against allowing Grand Vizier Haman’s genocidal decree to ...
Read More »Putin Finishes Quickly, Ready To Withdraw
Putin is unlikely to face resistance domestically from a prostrate opposition. Amdan, Syria, March 17 – Russian President Vladimir Putin surprised most observers Monday with his announcement that he had finished penetrating Syria, and would begin pulling out. Political figures, diplomats, and ...
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