An earlier draft of the statement called on Israel to provide an even greater level of military assistance to the Gaza Strip. Geneva, July 6 – The United Nations Human Rights Council followed up its endorsement of the Davis Commission’s ...
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Feed SubscriptionUN: Israeli Missile Alert System Exempts Hamas From Warning Civilians
“It was not quite sufficient to interpret mocking, threatening Hamas video clips as warnings, so the Council felt compelled to shore up the idea that Hamas warned Israeli civilians with this finding.” Geneva, July 1 – The United Nations Human ...
Read More »Next UN Probe Of Israel To Save Time By Just Reprinting Der Stürmer
“All we had to do to achieve the same result was take the existing Nazi, er, literature and adapt it to the Gaza context. Would have taken half the time.” Geneva, June 24 – The research team that released a report ...
Read More »Abbas Confused By ICC Attention To Country Other Than Israel
“Whose side do they think they’re on?” Ramallah, June 15 – Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas voiced bewilderment today at the tension over South Africa’s possible arrest of Sudan President Omar al-Bashir at the behest of the International Criminal Court, saying he ...
Read More »Siege Forcing Gazans To Reuse Antisemitic Epithets
“It can be hard for people outside Gaza to appreciate the harshness of these conditions,” said Gunness. Gaza City, June 8 – The ongoing Israeli and Egyptian blockade of this coastal territory has strained local availability of new anti-Jewish insults, ...
Read More »Reward Offered For Nouns Palestinians Have Not Weaponized
“Most, if not all, of the non-weaponized nouns were no longer current by the ninenteenth century,” said researcher Aiosi Fifa. Tel Aviv, June 1 – Researchers at the Institute of Language are seeking the public’s help in finding concepts and ...
Read More »IDF Cadet Can’t Believe Everyone Wore Same Outfit To Basic Training
“It’s hard for me to grasp how absolutely everyone in this unit made the same exact fashion choice.” Nitzanim, May 21 – New recruit 18-year-old Ori Harari expressed dismay and shock that everyone in his unit seems to have worn ...
Read More »IAF Now Just Trolling Sudan With Fake Explosions
The officer declined to give specifics on how the IAF would accomplish its task, but some experts pointed to strong evidence that Israel had developed mass mind-control techniques. Khartoum, May 15 – Hysteria surrounding repeated rumors and reports of explosions resulting ...
Read More »IDF Imposes Comfort Zone Around Gaza
“Coupled with the fatalism that life in Gaza under Hamas generates, this is a natural proving ground for the use of a comfort zone.” Kibbutz Nirim, Israel, May 6 – Israeli efforts to prevent the infiltration of Palestinian fighters from ...
Read More »IDF Declares Cover-Up Of Earthquake Device A Success
The earthquake was probably deemed necessary to distract from Zionist and Jewish conspiratorial efforts to seize control of certain vital natural resources elsewhere in the world. Kathmandu, Nepal, April 30 – Commanders of the ostensibly medical IDF mission to Nepal ...
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