“I even offered to send Jack Dorsey samples to prove it, but nothing.” Bat-Yam, November 26 – Sources close to the father of a local family reported today that he has yet to receive an explanation from the social media ...
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Feed SubscriptionScholar Posits Textual Anomalies In Bible The Result Of Autocorrect
Upwards of 95% of these occurrences can be thus explained. Cambridge, November 19 – An innovative approach to analysis of ancient documents has led at least one researcher to the hypothesis that numerous deviations in Scripture from the expected forms of ...
Read More »If Reinstated, Corbyn Vows To Minimize Carbon Footprint On Way To Lay Wreaths At Terrorist Graves
“I have had, in my zeal for universal human equality, some blind spots.” London, November 12 – Ousted UK Labour Chairman Jeremy Corbyn continued to argue today in favor of revoking his expulsion from the party following an inquest finding ...
Read More »Despite Industry’s Failures In 2016, 2020, Abbas Trusts Polls Showing He Better Not Call Elections Ever
“The will of the people is dangerous to our careers.” Ramallah, November 5 – The President of the Palestinian Authority believes public opinion surveys showing the deep unpopularity of him personally and of his governing faction among Palestinians, even though ...
Read More »Commission: Israel Not Truly Jewish State Without 2nd Knesset MKs Don’t Attend
“I might also point out that certain government-run institutions have an unfortunate reputation for punctuality.” Jerusalem, October 29 – A governmental fact-finding committee on the relationship between state and religion published its findings today following two years of research into ...
Read More »Socially-Distanced Riots Hamper Terrorists Trying To Hide Among Civilians
Palestinian restrictions on conduct in the public space makes it difficult for significant numbers of violent demonstrators to use women and children as human shields. Nebi Saleh, October 22 – Palestinian stone- and firebomb-throwers confronting Israeli troops in and near ...
Read More »‘BDS’ Much Shorter Than ‘Movement To Make Jews Feel Unsafe Anywhere’
“Our real accomplishment isn’t in metrics of celebrity visits canceled, but creating an environment across the US and Europe where Jews feel threatened.” Berkeley, October 15 – Activists campaigning for the economic, diplomatic, and cultural isolation of the world’s only ...
Read More »Goliath Polling +24% After Verbal Exchange With Israelites
“It’s hard to see how Saul and his camp will recover from this.” Elah Valley, Philistine-Israelite border region, October 8 – A rhetorical confrontation between a Philistine warrior champion and his opponents, led by Saul, king of Israel, concluded this ...
Read More »New ‘Gen Z’ Siddur Includes Translation Into Emoji
“Today’s young Jews are more fluent in smileys, memes, and gifs than in the stodgy verbiage of the Birnbaum, Artscroll, Koren, or even Sim Shalom.” New York, October 1 – Educational and communal institutions continue to struggle to reach and ...
Read More »Cabinet Decides Masks, Distancing Only Apply To ‘Little People’
“Everyone should have grasped long ago that there is a special elite to whom the rules do not apply. It’s actually a little shameful to me that we had to make this explicit after all this time.” Jerusalem, September 24 ...
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