“The only real difference between a caramel sufganiyah and a jam-filled one is the color of the junk we pipe into it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a colonialist, elitist pig.” Jerusalem, December 9 – Longtime sellers of the ...
Read More »
Administrators stressed that no diabolical plans were compromised as a result of the fracas. Tel Aviv, December 3 – Rival members of the International Zionist Conspiracy came to blows this morning over who had reserved today’s session overseeing the subjugation and ...
Read More »
The first indication of trouble was that Richard Nixon kept escaping. Jerusalem, November 29 – The Dustbin of History will no longer accept any discredited or defeated ideas, its management announced today, after a report found that the facility has ...
Read More »
“I have it ready for you in Tuesday or Wednesday, yes?” Jerusalem, November 25 – The proprietor of a meat and poultry establishment assumes that if your first language is English, you definitely want to buy a whole turkey to prepare ...
Read More »
It costs less to implement the ethnic filter than to employ personnel who must interact with every single passenger. Tel Aviv, November 22 – Heightened tensions in recent weeks over Islamic terrorism has air travelers opting for carriers with greater ...
Read More »
“Right now there are a bunch of young Muslims in Europe whom we expect to use their ethnic origins in court to justify their violence, and we need to support that because it hits home for us.” Jerusalem, November 16 – ...
Read More »
Now they cannot even at least fifteen times per day, up from an average of only nine times per day before the current wave of attacks began nearly two months ago. Ra’anana, November 11 – A report by the Ministry ...
Read More »
The manufacturer has been unable to secure Palestinian organs or tissues that could be considered FairTrade. B’er Tuvia Industrial Zone, November 6 – The importers and manufacturers of Ben and Jerry’s premium ice cream in Israel put the kibosh on ...
Read More »
“To my great dismay, the police undermined my ability to provide our audience with a visceral confirmation of my biases.” Rishon LeTzion, November 2 – Law enforcement personnel in this Tel Aviv suburb displayed what journalists are describing as intense ...
Read More »
“I’m going to put a stop to this nonsense. Even if it takes two thousand years.” New York, October 28 – A leading figure in the movement to impose a cultural boycott on Israel expressed shock and anger today that ...
Read More »