Diplomats had hoped the region could transition from iron-fisted rule by hereditary dictatorships to iron-fisted rule by democratically-elected governments. Washington, March 29 – With the release of former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak from prison today, staffers as the US Department ...
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Feed SubscriptionPalestinians Relinquish All Claims Against Israel
Palestinian Authority encourages people to move away; calls West Bank and Gaza “Jewish” Ramallah, March 24 – The Palestinian Authority announced today that it is relinquishing all territorial claims against Israel, and that it encourages all Palestinians in the West ...
Read More »Abbas Honors Pigeon That Crapped On Netanyahu’s Motorcade
The defecation took place last Wednesday, as Netanyahu’s motorcade made its way through Jerusalem. Ramallah, March 20 – Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas granted citizenship today to a rock dove that defecated on the procession of cars escorting Israeli prime Minister ...
Read More »Cypriots Consider Protesting Israeli, Not Turkish, Occupation So World Might Care
“It should work just fine, since Israel isn’t occupying Gaza, either, by any reasonable interpretation of international law, but you wouldn’t know it from all the protests.” Nicosia, March 15 – Greek-speaking residents of North Cyprus, an area of the ...
Read More »Palestinians Discover ‘Boys Clubs’ Unrelated To Beating People With Sticks
“Palestinian youth do not need our programs to give them an outlet and indoctrination to violence. For that they have their own government and UNRWA.” Jenin, March 8 – A local youth organization with American sponsorship has been forced to ...
Read More »Israel Practices Apartheid, Says Country That Bars Palestinians From Jobs, Voting, Property
“Palestinians are forced to vote only in Palestinian elections,” he charged. Ein el-Hilweh Refugee Camp, March 6 – A state that restricts Palestinians residing in its territory from owning property, obtaining citizenship, receiving state medical care, obtaining employment in twenty ...
Read More »Aliens Admit Iran The Inspiration For Their Abduction Activities
“We’ve upped our intake of specimens, and finished in less than a third of the time.” Tehran, March 2 – Residents of faraway worlds who visit Earth to kidnap people revealed today that it never would have occurred to them ...
Read More »2 Syrian Prisons Make TripAdvisor List Of World’s Top Ten Torture Facilities
They edged out such infamous venues as Guantanamo Bay, Russian labor camps, and most of China’s vast penal system. Palmyra, Syria, February 26 – Syrian authorities expressed satisfaction today that their work has been recognized, pointing to the TripAdvisor ranking ...
Read More »Ismail Haniyeh’s Gay Ex-Lover To Release Tell-All Book
On My Knees: In The Bedroom With Ismail Haniyeh will be published in April. London, February 21 – The leader of the militant Islamist movement that runs Gaza faces embarrassment as a former same-sex romantic partner is preparing to publish a ...
Read More »Authority Banning Land Sales To Jews Accuses Israel Of Ethnic Cleansing
“This land is Palestinian. They cannot stay. Did I mention that Israel is conducting ethnic cleansing?” Ramallah, February 16 – A spokesman for the Palestinian Authority government that imposes the death penalty or life imprisonment for selling land to Jews, ...
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