Ismail Haniyeh’s Gay Ex-Lover To Release Tell-All Book

On My Knees: In The Bedroom With Ismail Haniyeh will be published in April.

London, February 21 – The leader of the militant Islamist movement that runs Gaza faces embarrassment as a former same-sex romantic partner is preparing to publish a memoir of the intimate relationship, sources in Gaza City reported today.

Ismail Haniyeh, who will soon assume political control of Hamas’s international relations, has been trying to prevail upon Fellat Asbang, currently residing in Britain, to reverse his decision to release On My Knees: In The Bedroom With Ismail Haniyeh. Asbang, 50, has engaged bodyguards to prevent intimidation or attempts on his life by agents or supporters of Hamas.

In a telephone interview from a concealed location, the entrepreneur insisted he will go ahead with the April release as planned. “It’s crucial that the world know these things about a public figure,” he argued. “I’ve seen what happens to publishers that run afoul of Islamist intimidation, so I’m self-publishing the book. The people under Hamas rule in Gaza aren’t permitted to criticize Haniyeh or Hamas, so it’s up to Palestinians elsewhere to raise the alarm.”

Asbang declined to elaborate on the duration or extent of his romantic relationship with the Hamas leader, only disclosing that it soured three years ago. “It was beautiful for a long time, but then it wasn’t. Suffice it to say I got tired of him prioritizing politics over our closeness.”

Rumors have circulated for more than three decades regarding the 54-year-old Haniyeh’s liaisons, despite his marriage and thirteen children. A man claiming to be a former bodyguard claimed in 2005 that he was present on multiple occasions when Haniyeh and several men would gather for homosexual orgies. The man was later found in Istanbul with two bullets in the back of his head, and the coroner ruled his death a suicide.

Hamas officials and Haniyeh dismissed the allegations as defamatory lies. “This is vile Zionist propaganda,” asserted Mahmoud al-Zahar, an organization spokesman. “This base accuser is an agent of evil, and should be thrown from a rooftop, the sentence meted out to all homosexuals.”

Haniyeh denies he knows who Asbang is, added al-Zahar. “We are investigating who might have divulged details of Brother Ismail’s routine to this impostor to add verisimilitude to his libel,” he stated. “Once the book is published we will have to review it to determine who had access to that information and when, so we can pare down our list of collaborator suspects. I will personally lead that investigation, in fact. That means rereading the book multiple times, of course.”

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