“The Holy Father’s chief concern has always been the good name of the Church, and this move, in his divinely-inspired assessment, will go furthest in ensuring that the scandal dies down.” Rome, October 11 – The leader of the Roman ...
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“Generations upon generations of Palestinian farmers have tilled the soil thus desecrated, and suffer the humiliation of occupation.” Geneva, September 1 – The United Nations Human Rights Council this afternoon issued the latest in a series of dozens of denunciations ...
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“I fail to see why our insistence on enjoying this pleasure of the flesh should attract little to no media attention, and thus no public awareness or political support, while theirs is always front-page news.” Jerusalem, August 1 – Advocates ...
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The movement, which has yet to decide on a name, because if they did it might get rendered in writing or print in this article or elsewhere, numbers somewhere between twenty and fifty people. Cairo, July 25 – Concern that ...
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He proceeded to list numerous occasions on which human understanding of the divine will shifted, indicating a pathetic grasp of what the divine attribute of eternity means. Heaven, July 18 – Supernal sources reported today that the almighty creator of ...
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“I predict many fewer such sponsorships, and an overhaul of the way Marketing approaches its mission.” Shittim, Plains of Moab, July 10 – A prominent player in the financial sector canceled its monetary support today for a retaliatory Israelite campaign ...
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“It’s time for me to take my business beyond the magical community.” Hogsmeade, July 10 – Connoisseurs of this wizarding village’s unique delicacies reported a wave of interest today following an announcement that the largest organization in the world handling ...
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Mr. Ali will return to Earthly life in approximately 2025, this time as a suburban father of three near Philadelphia. Seventh Circle of Hades, July 3 – A Palestinian jihadi who died trying to kill Jews will be reincarnated as ...
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“True liberation will not be achieved until men and women of all demographics, but especially the ultra-conservative, enter bathroom stalls at the same time.” Tel Aviv, June 27 – Representatives of several feminist groups battling to achieve equality of the ...
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“Found objects with identifiable marks of ownership don’t automatically become the property of the finder.” Tel Aviv, June 20 – Political and cultural figures railed against a Jewish religious leader today for informing an inquirer that he need not try ...
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